Christmas report

Christmas here was a bit different for a few reasons one being we didn't go out for lunch between some inter family stuff that tested patience to the limits and Mommy and I being very unwell just before and still recovering  so even if we had, it really would of been a waste as we'd not of eaten much.
With that we ate at home between ourselves,with the Turkey being put in over night to cook right through, vegetables done across the morning and the Christmas Pudding zapped in two minutes flat before eating!
As it was 2015 I had to help out getting stuff out, setting the table, clearing the table and with washing up.
I did have a number of presents this year although somethings are in transit as as I wasn't well enough to organize them to just before Christmas which does give me something to look forward toward I guess.

A perennial with me is comic annuals which are a direct run on from the Christmas presents I has as a child featuring special and sometimes Christmas themed cartoon strips from my all time favourite characters such as the no longer running apart from specials, Dandy which had Korky the cat, Desperate Dan of Cow Pie fame and others in it. 

The BIG comic with me as a Child was Britain's Beano a veritable parallel world for those of us who were of official school age  during the 70's thru 90's it's peak period with it's own school and characters in the form of the Bash Street Kids, my heroine Minnie the Minx and Dennis the Menance who like us also got smacked if they were naughty (and they were!).
As time went by some strips like Lord Snooty got retired and others like Bananaman who did have a tv series too joined the old favourites and the questionable practise of featuring in the news real people like pop stars and the like in story-lines crept in.

To say I like Jacqueline Wilson's stories is an understatement outside of the likes of Enid Blyton and co which I was raised on (and as you may know do have a good number of complete series by), she treads the line well between old school story telling but set in the world of todays children (and sadly some of society's issues) producing funny, very readable and thought provoking work.
This is set of short stories, some Christmas related featuring some of her best loved characters like Tracy Beaker and Hetty Feather with quizzes too which is just the sort of thing I like, a more middles take on an annual in a paperback book format.

Mommy bought me  this, Maddie who is a 14 inch soft rag doll who I think is adorable in her pink candy stripped outfit and some grey long school socks which is a very sensible choice for an adult middle like me.

My Auntie brought me a selection box which was a super inspired choice on her part as she not formally known about my Middle side but can tell straight I'm very child-like.

To be honest I'd sooner people either asked ideally or just bought me things more like this because I just so not relate to *adult* likes and that at all so buying for a middle child really is more sensible.

Happy Christmas.

HAPPY CHRISTMAS

Santa is very mooch for real!

There will be a 'paws' for Christmas and then I'll resume posting folks.

Post 600

I mentioned  a short while back at various places we were approaching the 600th post of this blog which by coincidence was just over a year and a week back and I was thinking about doing something a bit special.
Well other things intervened altering the posts between as well as the frequency a bit for good measure not least being very unwell recently and during that period I thought about some of things and people that matter  the most to me.
The first thing is there's a person who I've only known for a few years and due to distance I only see from time to time who in their own way has been such a inspiration and source of reassurance at times even though they themselves have had their own difficulties some of which we do have in common.
They've encouraged me to be more open about myself, who I am, what interests me with other people, to feel comfortable doing arts stuff like drawing which I've always had hang ups with just for the fun of it and above all just accepts me as I am.
The year has been hard for us both following the death of our (and probably for a good number of you, yours too) close friend where we've both been supporting each other  and both of us have been supported by others which has been a great source of comfort.
You're a star.
Then there are other people such as those that have given me a home from home where I can just relax with my mind free from some of the stuff that gets on top of me here, enjoying a meal and like minded company together.
Which if on it's own is something I'd be thankful for but you go much further than that, you look after me, not in a super fussy way but more an observing the scene and responding way, knowing that if I'm giving signs of been tired (and I tire easy) you'll get me to where I need to be, bed, in  suitably child-like way that leaves me feeling relaxed and very little.
Then there people who help me deal with some of baggage from the past because a number of my responses to situations has tripped me up, not just say from not doing something important but also making it harder for me  fit in cos I do things that can conflict with everyday norms, a good number of which I never really learned and was never expected to take any account of.
Sometimes because of some very bad encounters I had, I'd disengage first to avoid situations that had distressed me rather than mastering them.
Instead you've had higher expectations starting from the outset that I was to at least try to do what everyone else was expected to even if I needed a close eye on me and when I didn't you were prepared to follow through with appropriate child-like discipline to help me change.
A lot of people in a way gave up on me thinking I couldn't be given a second shot at getting this right but they didn't. Rather than feeling I could only mess up, they helped me replace it with a feeling I could get it right and if I messed up once, the by learning the right lesson, I get it right the next time.
For once I started to begin to look forward to social encounters knowing I'd be helped by firm, loving and caring people to handle them so I could enjoy my time with people more (and hopefully they'd feel the same).
And that does wonders for my self confidence.
In so many ways then  these things are the things that matter and have mattered so much to me over the last 100 odd posts here, the gifts that are priceless and to whom I am most thankful for.
**Thank You**

Twirling around the day

So it's day 14 of Advent according to my Calender  and already I had a few people over  bringing gifts for much later and at least the last lot did appreciate my dolls and plushies.
I'm not awfully well presently with a rotten cold that makes all my bones hurt so I'm on hot lemon, chicken soup as well as eating tons of oranges to fight as much of this off as is possible and thanks for your concern and suggestions at various sites.
Looking at that picture, I only wish my stairway was that elegant as our house is typical late 60's, early 70's semi lacking a certain finesse when it comes to such things.
What's so wrong with making features of them???
One other thing I do wish my fairy godmother would get me classic 50's style girls dress like this, a bit puffed out in a plaid fabric  cos I do so love walking and hey twirling around in dresses.
In other news I did redo a few Eagles cds I copied for my personal music player the other day between the sneezes although to be really period one really needs a Decca all tube stereogram to play them over which ironically I had growing up (allegedly).

Jo gains a badge edition

I'm a bit late in publishing todays edition I'm afraid with a few unexpected things to deal with and just as I was about to get into the swing of it, Marmalade comes along and sits right next to the laptop so I had to move!
I'm a bit later getting up today  after having fun talking at G.I chat with Pj, Abbie and Chris last night  for a bit although I can see I'll need in future to stick to my official bedtime although I had gotten a dispensation for that night. Routines are things that seemingly I do need to help with stuff like getting to sleep.

As well, I has been appointed as Head Girl no less at G.I's school which is quite something for me as hadn't been there very long, to help out and I'm sure the red badge will look good on my uniform.
Talking of good stuff and me, something that's been a problem area in the past, I was super good this week and just did what I was told and helped Mommy shopping as dad wasn't (and isn't) well and she needed a paw without any fuss which only goes to show helping me behave can work wonders as the only difference this last year and bit has been extra input into that by my Caregiver and others.

Chilling little style IV

The last entry of this series looked a bit more at presentation in the form of uniform and how that's changed and how that is a part of my life.
There are other parts of it too which have changed over the years, socks being oddly enough one of the first manifestations from buying school socks from the schools department of British Home Stores  every term usually grey from the late 1980's before moving gradually toward an exact replica uniformed presentation via 'Senior school' or 'Secretarial' wear.
Sometimes I have bought patterned socks like Harlequin ones in different plaid colours before moving more into that exact replica uniform by wearing actual school socks with it such as these Grey ones.

These are some I recently got although I usually wear white one of the same sort of design
except the bow would be a matching white.
The other thing that goes with it is underwear which has changed a bit over the years from all white around 2010 to grey or bottle green full school briefs when the original replica uniform came about.

 Now it is to go with the newer uniformed presentation I'm to be wearing mainly black high waisted Carta Gym Knickers which apart from being good for sports do keep me warm and cozy which is good thing at this time of year.
These arrived a few days ago and are to be worn from now on.

Burrowing time

I don't know about you but I'm really taken with super cute things as well as plushies so what would happen if you mixed them?

Taking the rabbit theme your braids are in rabbits, your foot wear and your plushie as you sit licking your lolipop. I'd just love that!

In other stuff, apart from Yet More Rain in deepest cat Cheshire, I had lots of fun talking to Abbie and Kiddo in G.I. chat last night, got some Christmas stuff sorted and finished off the community magazine deliveries that had to postponed due to strong winds.
As well I organized my photo equipment manuals complete with invoices in a folder and replaced my Olympus Modern Classics user guide from 18 years ago as I had an accident and spilt tea all over it a while back when my paws were shot at, shaking, leaving it badly stained in places and water damaged.
Thankfully I was able to find a slightly earlier edition used cheaply in much better shape than even before as my original had been well thumbed through.
I might warn Susan I do have my cats ears now!!!

Advent edition

Well, it's a brand new Moth which by coincidence  also marks the start of the great countdown otherwise known as Advent which from childhood always was a magical thing aided by having a calender.
Way back then, they were card based  with you pulling back a flap to uncover various things and at least in our house, nominally religious in character.

 This is a very nomable which is currently atop of a short floor standing bookcase facing the front room window cos I don't care anymore. 
A middle lives in this house and does stuff like this apart from colouring her Frozen colouring in most days!
Just open a door each day, eat some chocolate and see the days before Christmas go before your very eyes.

Thanksgiving 2015

This post is a bit earlier than usual but it was very apt so I'd rather do this today.

To everyone at GT, IK, DD/lg forums,G.I., F.A. and Tumblr enjoy the time you have together.
Regards Jo.

Numbers

The weekends interlude of snow has passed so I wobble around our estate without fallin' down today which is nice as I don't like being shut in much at all.
Talking in various places across the week brought a few memories back about the past like how we were taught math.

 For us everything started with learning addition and subtraction (take aways) and the decimal system (yay for logical units!) before being introduced to times tables which we had to learn by rote, reciting both individually and as class  up to the Twelve timestable and also by compiling our own time tables  in a grid form.
Everything came from either a text book or more often what our class teacher stuck up on the board for us to either copy down in our exercise books and complete or to work through in class on the board with us being called out to complete in front of the class  showing your working out.
There weren't any work sheets, calculators or a computer back then.
Carrying over numbers and doing long division are kinda etched in my brain which says a lot about how effective the whole class teaching was despite my best effects of telling the teacher I didn't think I should have to, which responded in a sharp reminder who was actually in charge.
We did do fractions but by the time I went to boarding school we got more into equations, area and trigonometry  which I was lousy at to be honest.

Random Friday post stayin' wrapped up

 

With this time of year one only wishes for the brilliant colour of the summer not least when my bones feels the damp cold air and the Sunflowers in peoples gardens growing although it is brighter today.

I am better today than I was earlier on in the week when I seamed to have pulled my left hamspring yet again just getting to sit up in the bed first thing and was able to see the hairdressers on our main road for a trim and some restyling attending with my nails painted as ever.

Today I've been doing some colouring so far connected with Thanksgiving although I would say Thanksgiving in Canada is a month earlier and I don't understand why over here you don't celebrate it.

Last night I had to quickly rescue Mr Marmalade who had gotten his paw right through the gas fires grill, heaven only knows why he'd do that, as it was very close to the flames just as I had some very hot tea in my hands so had to quickly put it down without spinning it on my skirt and legs and yank the errant paw away.

He's so strange like that as no cat I've ever had has ever tried it before.

I've always loved reading comics, especially British ones loving the Minnie the Minx strips for like eons so It won't be long before an annual or two arrives care of Mr Claus so I thought end  by a older frame in one weeks strip I remember laughing at.

 What she says is very much the kind of thing I'd of!

Until next edition, byes.

Personal growth

It's kind funny how it is change and permanency crop in in differing forms when it is we think about aspects of our lives such as what may matter the most or the direction a hobby or interest may take.
Some people may put a great store on things being the same then, now and even in the future living around patterns from the past and equally we can all think of people who never really seem settled, forever swapping and changing things at whim, sometimes to the consternation of those closest to them.
Sometimes you may feel things changing but hear the siren calls of those who just loved you and what you do begging you not to change, that you and what you do is all that you are and to embark on journey be it personal or in developing your skills would lose you your own qualities while others still may wish to take you down routes you might not feel sure over.
To grow and to adapt either as a person or in your interests to me seems on the face of it a healthy thing as that would imply you are learning and exploring more of what interests and fascinates you.
I know and sometimes it feels at certain sites as if I'm forever on about, I am changing, learning  to do and live with greater expectations of doing things to those I'm been familiar with far a long time which hasn't been easy.
It would of been easy to given the matters that came to a head last year to had done nothing, in effect deciding to have stayed in rut which may have been a dead for end for me but a comfortable one but instead pursued on that was and has been painful at times but has ultimately been more benefit to me. Sometimes it's the courage to change that we need.

Chilling little style III

After Monday's write up about the combined Halloween and Bonfire party here is the unexpected follow up.
Whenever people get together, not only do they talk about different things but sometimes they may bring things that for whatever reason they no longer have a use for or perhaps found didn't fit quite right but would rather another had if they could make use of them and this is very true in the Adult Little Girl community.

In many ways as discussed in 2013, this picture which is a part of the same photo series, captures the spirit of the 12ish Middle me, a girl who relaxes sucking her lolipop, stroking her pet and reading a book who may know more of the grown up world but isn't in it as just those things alone are what matters in your world.
 I remember writing in December 2014 around how it was the form of uniformed schoolgirl was going to change as I was to be wearing pinafore dresses with my first outing in one at the Christmas party and how they felt so me.
Pinafore dresses are for a good number of actual schoolgirls, a requirement of their being at school as part of the uniform emphasizing your 'belonging' to that school and the implied acceptance of its rules.
There is a parallel of sorts with me because my caregiver requires me to wear mine not just as an adult middle treated very much as the little but also it does reinforce the acceptance of His rules and any correction that follows. It is MY uniform.
Not surprisingly that is very much how most of the time I've been out with people this year and certainly worn at home with blouses and even a tie!

I have a few school type pinafore dresses now in my wardrobe but was rather surprised to see Matron at GHS had something hanging on the stairwell that she said I could have if it fitted.
Math isn't my strong point -prolly was fitted with Math proof cap early on in life! - and sizing isn't always straight forward  but putting it against me it seemed right.
It was a grey pinafore with a heart shaped front zip but  with a straight skirt section that was a bit thicker than some of mine by Banner so seeing it was a 17/18 I took it back with me.
I put it on after a quick wash on arrival home Sunday coming down the stairs to my folks wearing it with an air of confidence sitting downstairs an having my evening meal in it and they said NOTHING!
It fitted perfectly so I like to thank Matron for her kind offer of it as she understands the importance of Uniforms to middles like me.

Firework Party time

Having just gotten up after going to bed really early to help with the tiredness I felt yesterday evening I thought it was time to write up the weekends events.
For me things started with being up at 6 in the morning to makes sure I was dressed, double check my case and fix breakfast ready for for my Taxi to arrive as the weekend local bus service operator is anything but reliable especially if you need the very first bus of the day and being hourly it would be very easy to miss a connection to the rail station.
Because I was being picked up at the other end, it's kinda important for me to be a bit responsible and ensure that to the best of my abilities I get on the right train so this was the best way of achieving it.
Getting through the ticket barriers newly installed isn't fun but I used the Disabled one and waved my ticket to someone who let me through with my case and Hello Kitty tote bag with some long sticking out of it.
Having arrived at the other end I met up with the person who going to give me a lift and waited through the torrential rain storm for another person to arrive before we set off to their house where events were being held. We called in the local shops to pick up some provisions for later consumption although I stopped in the car as it was raining. It does nothing for me fur! (Lol) 
I immediately got changed into my black pinafore dress which is super easy for me to put on (a boon for disabled girls like me) and started the sorting out of bits and bobs I'd brought with me like cards, a gift for the organizer and some playthings.
I had said at a site that one the most important things was working our way through the loss of a dear friend in tragic circumstances and the other was that I felt I had more of need to 'play' which was shared with two other people at least so for us this needed to happen.
Sometimes more grown up sophisticated work or techno stuff can creep into littles meets but that's not I'm there for so I said I was going to bring two things with me, a pack of Hello Kitty playing cards and my Panda glove puppet, Peaches, who came from Covent Garden, London and came to work with me as one of  a few things I used - played  with is the word I'd now use - doing a stressful, emotionally demanding job helping to bring people who hurt kids to justice to help deal with stress and it was the place I learned to express my inner child.
By bring them and talking a little in advance I felt there was a good chance we'd get what we were looking for.
In time everyone arrived and so 'Matron' and Andi got started with the Beefburgers (not LAMB burgers, giggles) with onions by 1PM, talking away (food is so sociable) before we got on to the first activity proper.
At this point the group split up and so I joined Sammy and Lausie outside with their partners keeping an eye on us carving the albino Pumpkin into a spooky but fairly happy face between us, having fun scooping out the mush and scraping the skin off bits ready to put a light in later on.
I got a bit sticky and one of my splints will need a wash where bits got trapped as I forget I'm wearing them as they're just part of my life now but it was so much fun and I'd like to thank them for letting me play with them.
Susan had organized a treasure hunt around the house and its surroundings based on a  Hobgoblin theme with a series of clues and individual prizes as well as Winner prize which was won by Lausie who's just rather good at this sort of thing although I and a few others did get the odd one too.
Next up was Jennifer's music quiz which was based on themes from BBC Tv series issued on BBC's own records where you had to identify the name of the program and when it started (although we relaxed that to the period of original transmission). I got 7 out of twenty but given I wasn't familiar with British tv for some of that time for obvious reasons that wasn't bad I guess especially as one them was Choo Choo connected.
We had a cold salad evening meal from what people had bought and in some instances actually made like Andi's Trifle which was very nice with the cream (shades of the Catgirl coming out here!) which everyone enjoyed.
After a period, the baked potatoes were out which indicated one of the highlights of the weekend was about to begin. At this point I put on my Witches Hat and Held  my orange broom which with the school uniform I was one looked like something very reminiscent of Harry Potter series ready to go outside.
Matron, brave as ever had gotten the bonfire started with bit of fencing and other stuff which soon really started going keeping us warm as the sparks flew in the air before with the assistance of Andi lighting them, the fireworks were put in in order exploding colourfully, fuse permitting of course all around us as a few other folks had spotted although we had competition from major Firework Display a few miles away.
Given some of the issues I've had due to the dangerous misuse of fireworks to hurt me, being able to stand and enjoy anew fireworks without any issues was a great thing for me personally.
Afterward we listened to the super sounds of Kim Wilde and other 80's artists as well as the Eagles as the coal fire kept us nice and warm talking as I was impersonating a cat on the floor, clawing and me-owing and we turned the light off so Andi's illuminated skull shone onto the ceiling which was fun as some of were sure we saw ghosts, maybe even the ghosts of schoolgirls past!
Eventually we got to bed in various rooms, I was in the front room, sleeping on the couch in front of the fire waking up later than usual so I fixed a tea and got washed and changed to have some Rice Crispies before Matron and Andi got some smoked Bacon sandwiches going before a few people left and the remainder of us went to a Pub for a meal together, naturally I kept to soft drinks, which was served very efficiently, piping hot  and very tasty before we all made our way back.
Andi took Suzy and I to the rail station to catch our trains which was interesting as the number of people getting in seconds flat to the Virgin train to London Euston station has to be seen to be believed!
Unfortunately my Choo-Choo was rather overcrowded - standing room only - in the regular carriages including the disabled section occupied by people who I'd be 98% certain weren't,  so  I had to stand in some discomfort for part the journey before myself and a Person of Colour saw a couple of seats come available and claimed them!
Thankfully my back pain subsided by the time I arrived and the ticket barriers were up so I quickly get a taxi off of the the taxi rank, whose driver was only two and half miles away from home who got me back in for Quarter to Six.
I'd like to thank Susan and Matron for organizing the party and Andi for the Pyrotechnical support in addition to the lifts.
A fun time was had by all.

Halloween edition

For most people Halloween has been and and gone although I'll be off at the weekend so I don't think they'll be an entry here on Friday as I'm gonna be rather busy getting sorted ready for an early morning start.
There weren't so  many little people at the door on Saturday dressed up looking for candy although the weather was more reasonable than last years so I have some spare candy and I believe at least another one of us had the same experience. Around here I know the families of them well.
That kind of leads us into a kind of a theme because of one of things about about that weekend is about re-acquainted  with people you love having fun, the weekend despite some problems with pulled a  leg muscle and badly jarring my neck yesterday also was about that but in a different way as I encountered a few people I hadn't seen for a while.
As well, I've almost finished work on one of the seven micro sd cards for my music player - imagine something the size of a small stamp containing a couple hundred and bit albums - arranged by theme and to which I do have a kinda master list of what's on each.
That work has involved , avoiding getting very technical putting a few shelves worth of cds on to them and at the same time adding any albums I bought as downloads and it was downloads I bought around five and six years ago stored on memory stick I as adding yesterday as strangely enough the store I bought them from had withdrawn them from being either sold or even redownloaded from your folder of purchases.
So I was adding my Gorillaz albums, the Everything and Nothing compilation by David Sylvian of Japan fame (after getting the two cd side to play as two separate sides), Take That's Greatest Hits (no longer available new as they wanted a compilation with recent songs on it too) and Paul Young's From Time To Time.
These were albums I played a lot at the time and two were original bought as MiniDiscs which I loved in the 90's but that technology is now obsolete and in the case of the Paul Young title  that also was a very early pre-recorded mini disc that sounds very raspy too like a wasp chewing your ear!
The download (Mp3 encoded in Lame 3.97 version at 320 kilo bits per second) is much better sounding too!
Having done all of that I was getting re-acquainted with them playing from my Fiio high quality player before going off to bed on time which is something I've learned to readjust to this year.

Teenbeat XVIIII - Mary Wells

Today entry is around a double cd  by artist whose career that lasted many years only really flourished briefly and often is ignored when it comes to Motown's contribution to the evolution of Soul Music.
You see the people we associate more with Motown, like Diana Ross& the Supremes, the Temptations and the Four Tops were only really successful after Mary Wells left the label but during the first years it was her, the Miracles and Marvin Gaye who were the bit hitters chart wise. Indeed the Supremes were dubbed the 'no hit supremes' while the Beatles hung out with Mary and even shared billing on tour.
Motown was like a giant music factory working all hours recording and refining 'product' for the quality control meetings where the decision to release or just can the recordings were made so like many Motown artists, Mary had a lot of material, really fine material that commercially Motown had no use for regardless of its quality.

This set issued in 2012 is in some respects the replacement for 1993's ultra rare Looking Back double, part of a ground breaking set of releases exploring work by less well known artists or those whose careers spun more at 45 RPM from the master tapes so had few if any lps.
While I have a number of those cds and the periods 'Anthologies' of more popular artists, hers is one I didn't get at that given we're looking at around over £100 when you see a copy, I'm not likely fill that gap.
This set has 25 unreleased tracks, a good number of new stereo mixes of tracks previously issued including duets with Marvin Gaye and Smokey Robinson plus work with the Four Tops and Supremes (the Diana Ross & the Supremes group styling came in in 1967 after these were recorded).
Mary took advice, sadly very misguidedly to leave Motown in 1964 from what was admittedly a poor contract but the process took it's toil on her poor health that went back to her disadvantaged childhood and lack the nurturing environment and the pool of talented writers was to cost her commercial career dear.
Meanwhile one does need the Hits and there has been a number of compilations issued over the years.

 This one dating back to 1986 remains my favourite even if the art isn't top draw and isn't hard to find used Taking in 1960's Bye Bye Baby, Two Lovers, Your Ol' Standby and You Beat Me To The Punch  as well as My Guy, a big UK hit in early 1964 although it has nothing from the Together album of duets recorded with Marvin Gaye who was rather disowning of it.

Although there is a more recent identical coupling of these two original studio albums which are very well recorded by Motown standards, this 1986 2 on 1 set is a favourite for the songs (the albums are surprisingly solid with little 'filler' making the case for her most versatile voice taking in such songs as Two Lovers, Laughing Boy, Whisper You Love Me and My Baby Just Cares for Me.

The random jottings of a girl on Monday...

Random Monday post.
First off, Tracy got the mini quiz on last Sunday's post right. It was Crewe station, just opposite  the Crewe Arms Hotel the photograph was taken from, where you get to most places in the UK from and where presuming HS2 happens, that service will call at too.
As those of you from a certain littles site in the UK with a chat room will be aware I haven't been too good with a cold and bad cough for most of the week so I've been on the Lemsips and herbal cough mixture which has left me feeling unwell, achy, woozy in the head and a bit lacking in motivation, although as Jodi put it you can't expect to feel much else although her support is helping at least the point I got a few things done today connected with the dead ghoulish upcoming events at GHS which I'm mooch looking forward too.
I'm glad to have people who do care about me.
I went to look at one site the other night and found its software and layout had changed quite a bit and found I had a few things to put aright on my profile there and found another doesn't seem to be so good in it's mobile view, something that with more and more people accessing sites via smartphones and tablets is becoming more important, not least for getting people to spend more time on them.
I can remember the early days when we'd almost huddle around our big desktop computers for hours trying to find the very sort of site we wanted and then stay on for hours as they were hardly portable in the way laptops and especially Netbooks are and often modern machines are more powerful than those 133mhz machines with by modern standards tiny amounts of RAM were.
Finally I've been putting Yet More Music on my Soul micro sd card all 64gb of it I use in my Fiio music player to listen to over the headphones or plugged in the mini system in my room when I'm poorly saving me carrying stacks of cds with me to put on.

Making sense of information

"This London Midland  service to Birmingham New Street calling at Wolverhampton, Coseley, and Smethwick Galton Bridge is now approaching Penkridge. Please ensure you have all you belongings with you."
"Eh, Jo. Are you really supposed to be getting off here???"

Anyone that knows me understands it's the very first thought that goes into my head about journeys is making sure I'm on the right service, going the right  direction and this really is my stop having had a number of messed up encounters with trains and buses earlier in my life with my amazing ability to transpose data from different columns on timetables and information screens thanks to dyslexia.
Somehow they just get all jumbled up although as far as you're concerned its correct until that moment when you're to use it and you find you're at the  wrong stop or even on the wrong platform.
That's why I have to be super careful and check separately the information that  I've got it -usually written down in a note book - correct so removing anything that I might transpose.
Usually when I read I use things like rulers or credit cards to screen out anything other than the lines I need to see but that's not so practical on a laptop or in bus or rail stations where it may be quite high up.

Onward bound

"I wonder what this is all about?" I hear you cry especially as we know me and trains have a lot bad memories and you generally won't see many pictures of them here and certainly it's very very rare for me to take a single photo of them plus only on one occasion did I take a series on slide film.

 The train is apparently a Class 350/2 built by Siemens having been in service for the last few years on this line and it was taking me away for a bit a break . A Mars Bar for anyone outside the Black Country who can identify the service and the station this was taken at.
Getting there had been fraught with its own issues between road works preventing me from getting to the station by one route potentially up to the the very morning and an accident along the next best alternative  route causing much disruption but I got there in good time to get some lunch while waiting for the train to come in.
One thing that changed at the station was due to re-modelling work, its owners had put in ticket operated barriers between the waiting area and the platforms which I found confusing.
I got in the disabled seating area and it wasn't long before I arrived at the other end to be greeted by a friend of mine who after some shopping took me to their place to meet Susan and Andi.
It wasn't long before the 'Junior Prefect' emerged in her black pinafore dress after unzipping the many zips of the turquoise suitcase to extract what was needed immediately which given much of what I had mentioned before was pretty much middles regression so it was Jessica dollie and my colouring book.
I over did the colouring a bit probably with getting 'too' in that regressed space apart from just feeling  very spaced out, so sorry about  that.
After a period it was time to eat and Susan and Jennifer had been working on something I'd never ever eaten before, Duck (no Fudge, not a yellow coloured wheeled item you know) with roast potatoes, asparagus and sprouts.
With apologies to the vegetarians, It's a bit like lamb when it comes to the taste and texture but in 'bird' form. It certainly tasted really well, a tribute to Susan's cooking skills  and we had chocolate and cherry cake afterward.
Afterward we listened between talking about various things, to so a few compilations including one by David Bowie  who I like a lot and the Eagles before making our way to bed.
Bed for me was with the glowing embers of the coal fire - you wouldn't believe how long they can stay alight - and I definitely got the sleep I'd been missing from the days before.
I was up around 7:20 and after a wash got changed for the morning, opening the curtains - there's something about the act of doing that that triggers that whole feeling of letting in the fresh day and sorting things out ready for off.
It wasn't long before I fixed some breakfast to be joined by Andi and Susan chatting over breakfast before it was time for me to return home.
Time regressed is I feel good time for me, it's not about escapism, it's more time to let out the the Middle within being herself as it is rather than a more groan uppy dressed as middle way because for me there's not much mode change.
You may change the attire but the Middle stands-that's me.

Thanks to Andi, Jennifer and Susan in strict alphabetical order for an enjoyable time socializing and for the lifts to the station.

Thanks

I'd like to this opportunity to thank everyone at GT,G.I,  IK,DDlg and FA for your concern following recent events and how they have left me feeling, be they comments in chat, on posts or face to face.
I was  pleasantly surprised to read one blog entry that addressed that topic of balancing your little and big lives an individual was facing that had a direct quote from  me upon my return after a few days so thanks Jake for that.
I'm slowly de-stressing and beginning to think more around how get to where I feel most comfortable and resolving some longstanding issues that compound if not of themselves create them.
Thanks again,
Jo
x

Sheltering edition

It's been a odd sort of a week for weather here with heavy rain earlier on and yes today we have brilliant sunshine which is more what I prefer although obviously we do need some rain and that even if there's never a really good time to it.
If you're thinking, have I missed a post before this, the answer is no because I needed to be out Thursday and Friday in particular to get some stuff I wasn't able to earlier and was too pooped out to be writing anything much so apart from not writing here, I didn't do much on other sites either apart from going bed earlier than usual set bedtime.
Before I forget thanks for those who read and commented on the last few entries here, it is very mooch appreciated especially on days like today when I have rather a lot on my mind which isn't so helpful when it comes getting in the mood to write and Marmalade has taken over my chair.
Like quite a few others I find dealing with the more 'adult' things not least unwell parents with an 'un-family' very stressful not least when no one is is even empathic never mind actually prepared do a thing to help and one has yet to return a phone call with a message left to a n other human they live with in seven weeks.
I can almost imagine the response I'd get If I called them out flat over how they are treating my folks never mind me, a person with multiple disabilities being left to care for them; One would just freeze doing nothing  and another would start a lasting feud as we've had several months of before now not talking and even acknowledging my very existence to others.
That's why I call them 'Un-family' cos legally they are but otherwise they may as well not be as they cut me out stone dead if they visit my folks and never inquire about me either.
I'd like a voucher to get a decent family with more than anything.

Looking back at structures and the need to be little

I'm late writing this but it something I needed some inspiration from and it only just arrive which is why I'm late todays.
I was talking with someone about the past, yes I know we has a present an' a future too but the past has lessons for you and is after all where you started out from and some of ideas I think are worth sharing.
One is given our chronological (so-called real life) ages, we've seen the world and the Countries we've lived in change from when we were little girls quite dramatically with the removal of many a Dictator, the greater freedom of expression of thought, religious beliefs and for differing ways of life.
We can to a very large extent say what with think without being arrested or effectively suppressed, in countries that had one majority faith, we can join and practice freely another and this is good.
One thing that perhaps for some of us is a negative is the way in which we've moved from very prescribed boundaries to such a state of rampant individualism that challenges any notion of social norms in our society.
We care less about how what we do may impact on others, the sense in which we are (and certainly I and people of my generation) felt being a part of a society that had shared aims and standards of behaviour in public at least. Everybody pretty much knew what was expected of them and that included respect for (adult) authority at home, at school, in the workplace never mind that of the Police even if they weren't perfect.
Today it seems that very much the idea of any respect for social rules has gone-want that seat on the train, grab it even if has been reserved, if at odds with each other in the street then call each other cuss words loudly in front of the under 12's, and so on to the point that it's hardly surprising that the only rules teens see exploring their emerging selves is that of own peer group in that way. While we tested the boundaries too, you knew adult authority would step in and critically your own folks would support them as having been punished for coming home the worse for drink once I'm well aware of shall we say.
For some us part of our being 'little' be it in caregiver relationships, or being just 'a little' may stem from a longing for those certainties be they from your own upbringing or perhaps looking back on those of others, you wish for them.
It provides some of the structure  we find ourselves craving.

A message from Bertie

A new moth so that's seen me out delivering the community newsletter in the spirit of Middle girl helpfulness down the sides of house, walking on gravel pathways covered from head to toe in hello kitty attire.
Yes, it's a crazy world I live in,eh? (lol) but couldn't be any other for this girl.

 Given the problems I've had very recently it's been very much a kinda hug your plushie regressive time of it all and so I thought Bertie would like to introduce himself.
"Hello Girls and Boys. My name is Bertie and I've bin living  with Jo fur two year but she never give me a page and I was born in Congleton but they toss me over Congleton edge so I ended up being adopted in Biddulph in  Staffordshire where they used to get black stuff called Coal from so I speaks with quite a strong North Staffordshire accent like she doesn't.
Mind you, she don't sound British either most of the time and gets mail from Alberta and Ontario!
I like the Autumn as everything turns the same colours as me but she don't call it that but she like this time of the year too.
The best thing about being a bear is the hugs, honest, as it makes us feel wanted and special.
Bye for now and be good.
Love, Bertie"

Recovery

Monday's, eh?

That so me you know. 
These last few days have felt pretty awful as I had a migraine I couldn't shake off and I'm only just getting more up to speed and feeling brighter right now so I have to go to my room and rest a lot.
It's nothing new sadly, been  like this ever since I was small, missing a lot of my education with thing and another so I've been playing catch up in many areas of my life so actually being a middle/little makes things more bearable, like watching a favourite film time and again it's comforting.
Comforting can mean extended periods cuddling up to plushies, not worrying to much about anything that's going on in the 'big' world feeling loved as people look after you and so on so I sure don't enjoy my migraines, I don't frame them in as whole negative thing in my life cos in all that I experience good emotions and sometimes find I see situations clearer that I can use when I'm better.
Thanks to everyone at certain forums for your support.

Dept of strange affairs!

Wednesday was fun.
I'd just gotten up and had my breakfast as Grumpy was due out and as he was about to open the front door something snucked past his legs or rather through them as he said "Marmalade's just come in" before shutting the door
Marmalade comes through in a rush and then I realized something was not  quite right here and said  with some urgency "I think we have a problem, Mom".
Seconds later I saw what the 'problem' was.
I could see this shadow over his mouth and then something was showing quite visible with feathers and a beak. Yes that darn cat had been hunting and gotten a baby Finch when he decided to dash into the house so he 'play' with it in the relative comfort of a gas warmed front room!
The flamin' cheek of it!
I got hold of him and it dropped from his mouth. Thankfully it was dead as that would of saved me from either seeing if it could be nursed back to health or having to put it down which makes me feel all queasy.
I put it in bag and buried it in the back of the garden well out of sight of the local cats as didn't see why they should have a meal out of this unfortunate incident.

Yesterday had it's own moments too. Like as some of you know I have much of my music stored on micro sd cards for my music player for use out and about or  I'm poorly which isn't exactly uncommon with me, to play via it to a small stereo in my rest room.
It saves faffing about finding the recording and putting it on a cd or turntable when I'm feeling seriously yukky.
Anyway I like the awesome Canadian group Rush, always did and had been getting the new better than regular cd High Definition downloads  my player plays extremely well and I keep a spare card with back ups of them on.
Imagine then my reaction when while changing a card and it flys through mid air and I can't see it landed!
I was tearing my hair out trying to find it last night and have only just spotted it at the very end of the room in a dark corner just visible by it's gold plated contacts where it had landed contact side up!
I can see I'm gonna have to get a changing bag to put the player in while I'm doing this so it can't travel as far!
Now just listening to Stravinsky's The Firebird Suite as I type this!

The Misses and Master

After Friday's more heavyweight piece I felt like sharing something else here.

Princess Natasha all in white making her way down the stairway. I had her for several years and is more the decorative sort of doll having a porcelain face

Morse sat on my chair. Although he's Scottish he doesn't drink Whiskey!

Jessica, as she'd just gotten up in the morning before I brushed her hair, living on the side of my chair in the front room from where I usually interact with y'all online.
I doesn't matter they and my other dolls and stuffies are clearly visible to my neighbours across the street as are my Wood's Cat teapots or if they come into the front room.
It's my space and I'm me.

More thoughts on 'little'

There were a number of things I felt like posting around today, some which may have go to other spaces I share but you know what, I feel like putting it them here any how.
The first thing I'm gonna talk about is what we mean by being a little as this from time to time causes issues depending sometimes where folks arrived from and how wide your knowledge and involvement in that community is.
If anyone expect a single universal definition, sorry there's not one as some like to slice and dice everything up often to match a subcultures take.
My start point is it's about you as an individual first and foremost starting from how you see yourself as you navigate your way from upper juniors and through your teens to approaching what the law defines as 'adulthood'.
The majority of children going through what is called 'growing up' have what is best called an emotional  age that is within the average or norm for children within their year which means at a practical level they can both be educated broadly the same level while being able to play and socialize within that peer group feeling neither to young or too old as equals, free from inappropriate behaviour.
If that was you, you'd be content  being yourself, sharing the same interests as your peers but for anyone that isn't you start to find toward your mid teens your being left out, staying the same emotional age having no interest in maybe or even getting anything from what interests your peers.
In effect you are  in very real way emotionally much younger than your chronological years that brings with it both ostracization  and vulnerbilities that others are only too willing to exploit.
I first became aware of this  around the ages of nine and ten finding my peers had outgrown me with it increasing several fold by my mid teens to the point I had to be protected at school from unsolicited and misunderstood attention from my peers.
Had it of been in this decade, rather than trying to find things in the reference library I'd of no doubt of been looking stuff up online on various sites and that simply cos nothing was around in what was supposed to had been a safe space for me never mind having spaces I could just share the interests I did have.
I don't believe in the intervening years a mid to late teen child  who is that way is that much more different although the internet itself brings risks to your doorstop, something which is of real concern to those over 18 who find them 'reaching out'. In a very real way those teens need their own adult free space until they are of age and some solid professional guidance of the sort some of us back in the day didn't have.
Those of us who are over 18 obviously started from somewhere and instead of concerns about our school friends, it's more about employers, fellow students and what anyone you may be in a relationship with as to how much of that side of they can take as well as the adult sexual side.
How that little side comes out does vary and one point I want to get across here is unlike the image you may encounter online it is not and does not have to be all about diapers, sippy cups, all in one romper type suits and pacifers although if that's you, terrific and as those of ya who have actually seen me over here know, I don't mind in the slightest.
You can be dressy, tom boyish, play school if you like (it's fun, trust me!) spend the hours colouring, watching Sofia The First or play snap, whatever makes you feel comfortable really cos it's just that-being in emotionally comfortable space, free from groan up worries and concerns.
To me that's what we have and had as Littles even if you have moved into relationships where that's accepted and anything 'adult' is understood and consented to.
It's what makes being a little transcending of any other label regardless of if you're more ab/dl, dd/lg  or 'furry' centric.
 
 

Classical music round up 2015 Part III (The English are a comin')

While exploring more classical music music when it comes to English music there's more than Elgar and Walton.Finzi is best known as a choral composer, but also wrote in other genres. Large-scale compositions by Finzi include the cantata Dies natalis for solo voice and string orchestra, and his concertos for cello and clarinet.

I recently bought these two discs from him a  near contemporary of Delius of his woodwind works  to explore at leisure. He was born on July 14 1901 and died September 27 1956.

m

Wonderland

Sunny start to the day here as Marmalade has come in for his toast who smell is invading the front room, hope it doesn't burn(!) as I'll be out for part of the day enjoying the weather.

For all of the fans of this

 

And that's an awful lot of us,eh, Alice, one place I stopped by last Saturday was here.

You can follow the Alice trail across Llandudno which is an awful lot of fun as is the dress.

Day out to the Seaside

I went out on Saturday with Grumpy to the seaside departing from our Estate on one of two coaches organized by locals where we travelled though our town to join the motorway network passing near Stanlow before joining the main A55 in North Wales, a semi-independent Country within the UK parking up at the coach park.
I left grumpy to his own devices after getting off going some people I knew helping me cross the road to get into  the middle of town as there wasn't  a crossing and I'm poor with road sense.

 You may not of noticed it but in the gardens, there is this amazing clock set in the ground that looks rather striking from this angle. In the background on the far left is the Cenotaph and along the front there was a flower display marking  the start of World War One.
I agreed to met grumpy at 12:15 to make our way to a restaurant for lunch as being a Saturday it sure gets busy so you'd better get your skates on.
We went to Tribelles which had been recently taken over and revamped where the service was excellent from being met to getting your food in good time.
I had a 9oz Cod with chips (anglicized fat fries) and peas to whom the batter completely covered the fish itself so you had a whole lotta fish which is just purrfect for a Catgirl like me and tea which was very well cooked with the fish being moist but not mushy.

 There were a number of events taking place out of doors, one being a display and collection for the Royal National Lifeboat Institute, a charitable organization that rescues folk at risk on the water and that was one of their lifeboats.
Also the Lions had a vintage motorcycle exhibit with many plushies and flags on the bikes one even had Crazy Frog with his googles!
I spent part of the afternoon watching the Punch and Judy show with the children, shouting and screaming along jumping up and down for good measure cos I love letting my more little side out while not reading my Beano Summer Special comic with my childhood heroes up to their usual tricks and playing on the beach.

Llandududno is one of a number of seaside resorts that has managed to retain its long jetties into the sea -a pier- and along of which are many shops and amusements one of which this not that you'll me in or consuming their products.

Jetties have their uses apart from launching boats on, fishing being one and here's a family group doing just that.

The coastline with the Haufre Gardens toward the top left with assorted Alice in Wonderland related things to be found.
Making our way back to the coach, I had a Mint Chocolate chip icecream locally made as in many parts of the UK there is an aggressive Seagull problem meaning sitting out on the seafront  with food you'll be attacked and possibly injured by said birds.

The return of the school girl

Hi.
This is the first entry of September because I took a few days of from blogging cos I was going to be away for a few days so needed to use my time differently.
The first thing was packing cos I had a new once piece travel case as the handle on my old travel attache case broke which took some getting used to was it has a short compartment at the front for things like my tickets and timetables, a middle compartment for things I need immediately on arrival and a generous core for other things with a total weight capacity of 2.5 kg together with wheels to drag it around.
That meant I only that had my hello kitty hand luggage carrying bag which I kept Katie Kitten in as she helps me deal with social anxiety, cellphone, outbound ticket ready for inspection and hello kitty purse.
As we had had heavy showers up here, I did have my Peter Storm waterproof jacket with me too.
Given I didn't need to be out early I caught a later local bus to join the service calling at the North-west Midlands leading rail hub to travel down my friends.
I had a few damp moments between connections but despite warnings about signalling issues on the train, that went very smoothly with the train being on time so having come in at the station in this part of South Staffordshire, I was met and walked to the parking lot just beyond the station before a short car journey to their home.
Upon arrival I changed to my middle uniform a black tunic with a zip having my hello kitty slipper socks on over my white 3/4 white socks with bows.
Over the period I did a lot of colouring  taking my new pencils as well as my Frozen colouring with me to work on as well Lucy one of my dollies to play with which probably says a about why I spend my time with and at littles meets here in the UK.
It's to be in (for me) middle headspace, just enjoying things more associated with actual middles without the sophistication's or concerns of groan ups during that period, just some point where I'm focussed on small things  and not like being preoccupied with news or adult interests.

So it was a welcomed surprise to be working sat at a traditional school desk and chair in uniform  doing my colouring, something that mentally took me back in time, feeling very much that child in class in view of groan ups. It's a feeling I feel very comfortable with, bring back many memories  from my past.
This is so much me.
We had a lovely chicken roast and home made plum pudding for our evening meal enjoying a sing song and quiz in the evening until it was time for me to sleep on the couch in front of the fire which I quite like anyway.  It's the feline in me!
I had a good nights sleep after about twenty minutes ready for the next day.
I got up sometime around 7:30 which is actually a bit later than normal for me, had a wash and got dressed in good time for everyone to be up drink and talk.
As is my want I did play at being a cat making the appropriate movements with my paws and meowing between colouring.
We had a cooked breakfast that was much appreciated before I left to join my train on the way home.
After Auntie Andi had dropped me off at the station, I caught the 13:20 that calls at our rail hub and as I was feeling tired I got a taxi off the rank straight home to cut out the waiting in very good time, directing my driver who was from Mid-Cheshire.
Thanks to Jennifer and Susan (no other name or Gah!) for their cooking and hospitality and Auntie Andi for giving me  a lift back to the rail station,

The space between

I don't suppose I'm alone in sometimes having the difficulty  in feeling  in more little or middles space as distinct from just how I may present because of other things around of me some of which you can't really do much about.
One is having parents with health issues, having to do things to help with no support whatsoever from other much more capable mentally and physical siblings who don't even return phone calls and any interest in them seems more superficial at best.

 That's sometimes where I find myself using spare bits of that time to frill myself up although I'm not normally at one with the uber-frilly side just cos it leaves me feeling a pretty carefree girl well out of more groan up space.
I also do a fair amount of colouring like yesterday between tasks to get back out of  as even for me personally  whole chunks are at the edge of  what I can cope with my my own needs.
Mommy saw and even liked some of my Frozen colouring yesterday!