Friday, September 18, 2015

More thoughts on 'little'

There were a number of things I felt like posting around today, some which may have go to other spaces I share but you know what, I feel like putting it them here any how.
The first thing I'm gonna talk about is what we mean by being a little as this from time to time causes issues depending sometimes where folks arrived from and how wide your knowledge and involvement in that community is.
If anyone expect a single universal definition, sorry there's not one as some like to slice and dice everything up often to match a subcultures take.
My start point is it's about you as an individual first and foremost starting from how you see yourself as you navigate your way from upper juniors and through your teens to approaching what the law defines as 'adulthood'.
The majority of children going through what is called 'growing up' have what is best called an emotional  age that is within the average or norm for children within their year which means at a practical level they can both be educated broadly the same level while being able to play and socialize within that peer group feeling neither to young or too old as equals, free from inappropriate behaviour.
If that was you, you'd be content  being yourself, sharing the same interests as your peers but for anyone that isn't you start to find toward your mid teens your being left out, staying the same emotional age having no interest in maybe or even getting anything from what interests your peers.
In effect you are  in very real way emotionally much younger than your chronological years that brings with it both ostracization  and vulnerbilities that others are only too willing to exploit.
I first became aware of this  around the ages of nine and ten finding my peers had outgrown me with it increasing several fold by my mid teens to the point I had to be protected at school from unsolicited and misunderstood attention from my peers.
Had it of been in this decade, rather than trying to find things in the reference library I'd of no doubt of been looking stuff up online on various sites and that simply cos nothing was around in what was supposed to had been a safe space for me never mind having spaces I could just share the interests I did have.
I don't believe in the intervening years a mid to late teen child  who is that way is that much more different although the internet itself brings risks to your doorstop, something which is of real concern to those over 18 who find them 'reaching out'. In a very real way those teens need their own adult free space until they are of age and some solid professional guidance of the sort some of us back in the day didn't have.
Those of us who are over 18 obviously started from somewhere and instead of concerns about our school friends, it's more about employers, fellow students and what anyone you may be in a relationship with as to how much of that side of they can take as well as the adult sexual side.
How that little side comes out does vary and one point I want to get across here is unlike the image you may encounter online it is not and does not have to be all about diapers, sippy cups, all in one romper type suits and pacifers although if that's you, terrific and as those of ya who have actually seen me over here know, I don't mind in the slightest.
You can be dressy, tom boyish, play school if you like (it's fun, trust me!) spend the hours colouring, watching Sofia The First or play snap, whatever makes you feel comfortable really cos it's just that-being in emotionally comfortable space, free from groan up worries and concerns.
To me that's what we have and had as Littles even if you have moved into relationships where that's accepted and anything 'adult' is understood and consented to.
It's what makes being a little transcending of any other label regardless of if you're more ab/dl, dd/lg  or 'furry' centric.
 
 

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