Yet another 365 days in the World of Joanne_chan

Another rip-roaring year comes to an end, so it's time for the almost annual review of what happened some most unexpected with reflections so where do we start?
Continuing with social media such as last years launch on Tumblr of a random likes kawaii pastel blog that makes no apology for being a littles one, it's increased it's followers to 89 to date, leading to interesting conversations, breaking down some barriers between different communities.
Regarding this blog - the main one -  it's recently celebrated it's 500th post so I've done some work around the favourite sites updating and adding links as well as tidying the side of the template up.
It gets a pretty big page view per month so as I know where many of them are thanks to GT, FA, IK, Tumblr followers and Angels members who should of spotted the new Tg blog listing as the old messy one got tidied away.
It was the year I 'arrived'  attending UK LG camp twice arrived being in reflection being the apt word for I arrived and departed full dressed whizzing across the motorway network apart from spending days at a time dressed 24/7 as myself.
I enjoyed my time playing with everyone, helping out  within my disability centred limitations to make the occasion enjoyable, one where we all could relax and just let our little sides out as it is for each of us individually for none of us is 'the same'.
I also spent some enjoyable days with the Misses, Susan, Jennifer and Andi being in the Midland triangle like me, enjoying great food and conversation.
Going back a few paragraphs though what of me and my self image?
One thing I learnt through being out more was getting handle on being myself coming from rather conservative (in some respects) controlled background it was less about 'trying' and rather more about 'being', working more with gut instinct the space dressed as you are.
Chatting to the barman at the pub during the GHS Xmas party with nails painted might of been nerve wracking at one time but I acquitted myself rather well there.
I also made peace with the frilly side (you'll be safe at Camp though Karen Marie!) following a number issues connected with the contexts I encountered in my early exploratory stage of being a little that I found less than comfortable with to the point of arriving at Fall Camp partially frilled.
I can now say "I have a feminine frilly side" even if practicality is a big thing with me. Gasp!
If from a littles side the main form of presentation had been more the uniformed school girl as seen in the Uniform posts of 2011, the year saw the public wearing of a skater skirt and for the Halloween evening, the Goth Death Kitty skirt with mesh, which was bit out of usual comfort zone but a good thing because I learnt to handle that better. And Camp's good for that too.
The other thing is that school girl has found her ultimate expression, one some of you saw for real, other like had to make do with the picture, being in a pinafore dress.
It's so me you'll be seeing more of it during 2015.
The home scene is more evolution rather than revolution that may be a bit slow for some but we're are getting somewhere with the ability (preparedness to help with too) to paint ones nails, be downstairs and eat  an evening meal fully dressed, buy suitably lg presents and gifts and so on.   Much of this would not of been accepted at the beginning of the year.
Getting toleration and working on acceptance works better here than outright confrontation.
When it comes music, I bought rather a lot of new vinyl lps such as those by Tom Petty, Rumer and 14 Beatles lps including all the Beatles in Mono series of reissues and  a number of cd sets such as the Beatles US Albums, Philadelphia International Collection 20 cd  box set, a special decent Steely Dan set plus the entire SOS bands back catalogue most which were written about in the Teenbeat retro styled entries.
I also filled some gaps in my Soul and Motown collections genres where well chosen single or multi artist compilations can be more rewarding than individual titles.
We also talked a bit about taking that music out with you on portable players, making great sounding copy files as there's life outside of iTunes and Amazon's download stores when it comes to having something to play on the train or when away.
I enjoyed "is the Order a Rabbit?", Sailor Moon Crystal, K-on series 2 and the continuing magic based adventures of FairyTail on the anime front.
I replaced my dvd player as it died just before playing a Fairy Tail box set and some classic Disney dvds like Pollyanna and The Aristocats, the latter has some of the coolest jazz on it's soundtrack.
I also acquired through rehoming a number of new dolls that I wanted during my original childhood that I've shared with others.
Everything just came together this year so here's to an exciting 2015!

Christmas Edition 2014

Well, now were officially a few days past it, here's my Christmas edition for this year where as ever I ramble on about Christmas as it lived by me.
The first thing to say is Christmas for me is first and foremost a littles affair, practically a childrens one starting with the great anticipation, the week before and building up on Christmas Eve where I sat with Mommy watching the Carols from King's concert on tv in one of my Pinafore Dresses before eating.
I was wake around Half past  Six Christmas Day with anticipation about which list of Santa's  I was one, hoping it wasn't the naughty one, getting washed and dressed  to comedown stairs (in our family you absolutely never come down stairs without being properly dressed, ever) and fix breakfast.
It wasn't long before the sacks were found and surprisingly I wasn't on the wrong list (with a bag of coal and a voucher redeemable for free smacks) so I started on opening them.
There were a number of Annuals, those perennials from my childhood where you got a softback book featuring cartoon strips from your favourite comics, extra features, quizzes  and games.

As the initiated know, I do read this comic a lot loving the adventures of Minnie The Minx, Dennis The Menace and the Bash Street Kids so here's this years annual.

A comic I used to love but has folded from weekly publishing was the Dandy with Korky the Cat and Desperate Dan of Cow Pie fame but they do specials such as this years annual so I was mighty glad to get that one.

 An author of books I love to read is Jacqueline Wilson and every year there's an annual out about her, the many stories she's written featuring Tracy Beaker (a heroine of mine) with tips on writing and drawing. I also got the Hello Kitty annual with stories and pictures you can colour.

Talking Kitty, I got a note pad and pencil from my Brother and partner which was pleasant surprise.
But the biggest surprise was yet to come.

Yes, my parents actually surpassed themselves and bought me this Grafix Build your own Teddy Bear kit that you stuff, sow the back and badge onto and fill out the Birth Certificate for!
I mean, you couldn't get so little with me me if you tried as this suitable for anyone over five (Foive in South Staffordshire speak) bear you can carry around with you hugging after completion.
After going out for lunch, I got changed into a Tartan skirt coming down the stairs in the late afternoon watching tv for a bit before we had a light evening meal as I was feeling a bit full.
One of my brothers forget his present so he's due to come back with it sometime soon while the other one realized he forgot to give my my main present so money that'll go toward some more blouses as I go through my closet replacing  and updating clothes.
Typed before evening meal in Red and Green GHS uniform with grey socks as I have no wish to have to wear trousers to eat at night with and the 'rent's are getting used to it!

Pinafore dresses II

This post goes back to December 7th, 2008 where I talked about what I loved about Pinafore dresses as a style and in particular what that meant to me so I wasn't really sure if a sequel was really called for but seeing that it was a very popular entry on this blog, in a way you dear readers have settled it.
You see I actually wore one at the Littles Party for two days no less and it confirmed much of what I wrote back then.

The first thing to say is I found wearing it extremely comfortable, with plenty of movement in the shoulders and arms which I quite enjoyed.
Also I did wear actual blouses with it which wasn't my original plan but it worked out fine, finding the dressing experience which is something I do find difficult in real life (not that anything in my life isn't) quite easy, getting myself in it and zipping myself up.
As was said by persons whose names I won't mention, actually it does really suit me going on my frame very well and they weren't flattering me as I have to say they were absolutely right about that.
I look as if I belong in them.

It's obvious then that I now know what works so with that, I shall be wearing more pinafore dresses in the future including a black one just like this with a pocket and I will be getting some more white blouses as they just look right under them as that also ties in with more girlization of the wardrobe as nearly everything else is apart from a couple of pairs of trousers regardless of what may happen in the future.
They are me.

Card edition

Just a few more posts to go before the end of year and as I'm slowly getting there, here's something for all of you.

Regards Jo.

There should be one other post before Christmas Day then probably a bit of break over that period  as I'll be with family.

500th post

Do you know something? This happens to be 500th post here at the World of Joanne_chan which is quite a milestone (not a Millstone) in its history.

 Indeed it almost never really got started between pressures from my career and having an early version of a blogging tool that was used for more mainstream "big" posts  and if you really want to know the truth, actually I'd of much sooner just had this one cos it's everything about me.
When I say everything, I mean starting with having this very much childlike (but not childish) little girl side that has never gone away , enjoying the simpler things of life like dolls, teddies, engaging in children's games and interests.
It's taken me to different places, meeting some remarkable people who share the same side mixed in with their more groan up side all trying to balance both sides of themselves and sometimes with having partners too.
It's also the only blog that deals with an important side of my life quite openly, that I am transgendered and how that taps into issues from my own childhood, having an inner girl child and has lead to me presenting as that female both at home and increasingly in the presence of others, something that has helped me an awful lot.
Our community, the alg community, has supported in its own way, me in all of this.
In this blog I do talk from time to time about things such as music, books and anime which have been great interests of mine for a while but in a different way, more from how they tie into my past and the child within me which sometimes by accident has occurred elsewhere as ultimately I can only be me wherever I may post.
To mark the occasion of this 500th post, the blog avatar as well as mine at GT and IK have been given a makeover to better reflect the feel and spirit of the school girl aged inner child as it comes out. We all know that's me.
Seeing it was inspired very much by the spirit of Little Karen Marie's blog I'll conclude by thanking her for her inspiration as well as that of other blogs I encountered in the early days of founding out what being an adult little girl was (and why it's me) and hope you'll join me in toast to the next 500!
Hugs, Joanne
xxx

GHS littles Christmas party 2014

Comments, thanks and accounts of this years Littles Party at GHS have been posted in the usual space at GT but as ever here's the Joanne account.
For me the journey started a bit early with having to catch a bus from our estate to the nearest point to meet  a bus bound for Crewe rail station in order to catch the service to GHS Central which had concerned me as following a change of operator for Saturday on the main service with major attendance issues (many no-shows) and the other service having a big change over of staff a fair number of which play fast and loose with the scheduled route.
But anyway eight minutes late the first bus arrived and I was able to run across the sidewalk to the other side to catch the second bus with seconds flat.
Enroute I left a message for Ms Andi's transportation and as efficient as ever meet me  having made my way from Platform Three while two other attendees  arrived  shortly afterward as we made our way to the imposing surrounds of GHS where two others were already present, helping Susan and Jennifer, our hostesses.
Upon arrival like a few others I changed into my dress - yes, d-r-e-s-s -, put my Hello Kitty slipper socks on and came down showing of something else a few may not expected, nails painted in advance as I'd decided after camp and that experience I actually was going to have them painted  from now on.
The only real surprise in this was the source of the painted nails as I had expected to have to do this all by myself but after a bath but as ever fully dressed, I calmed asked Mommy if she'd do my nails and surprisingly she just went ahead and did them!
This is something I'd not of expected back in December 2013.
Also I brought along Amy, a big Holly Hobby doll, with me.
Anyway toward the tail end of the afternoon, Jennifer, Andi and I think a n other disappeared toward the kitchen to cook the most wonderful Beef Burgers from the local butcher while we await the amazing Sticky One and partner to arrive as they were stuck in slow moving afternoon Christmas traffic.
An improvised sorting office was set up for exchanging Christmas cards.
We played pinning on the Donkey's Tail  with the picture mounted on  board, pin and using an improvised blindfold, hoping to get as close as we could to putting that pin in the right spot (and NOT in the wallpaper).
Susan had organized a Christmas treasure hunt  with clues around GHS indoors and outside you had to find that lead to the others and each had their own prize so we charged around the premises in hot pursuit of them. As it happened I actually found three clues and so got three Christmas Chocolates, while the Sticky One won the main prize.
Between eating a cold salad with cake and a marvellous trifle home made by Ms Andi, we played games such as The Logo Game with questions about famous brands and logos in addition to Articulate, the game where you have to try to describe a word without using it, your team members getting what the word was.
We also played music from cds in addition to vinyl records and even some 50's original 78's by Bill Haley where Caroline and Karla showed off the Jive (they're pretty good at it)
Eventually by just after 1AM we made our way to sleep, where I slept with the GHS coal fire for company waking up around 8 AM which was late for me but I think I needed the rest as it had been way beyond my normal bedtime.
Having gotten up and dressed, I had a cup of tea as I reckoned I didn't really need to eating any more but chatted to everyone as they woke up and had breakfast which included bacon sandwiches.
Around 10:30, we assembled to go on a walk along a former rail line and over part of the Staffordshire and Worcestershire canal though woodland encountering joggers, dogs, ducks, a water pumping station and goodly number of locks. I think it was around 1 and a half or more miles but although it was hard going for me I enjoyed being out in the open enjoying the countryside.
The walk lead to something that turned out to be really good, a Christmas Fair with a lot of home made crafts present on the stores (about 30) and a pop up drinks and snacks place who were  selling decorations, stuff related to present wrapping like paper, bows, decorations to hang up as well as plushies and dolls

.
I bought a Little Red Riding Hood  home made doll and I believe quite a few of us got various things while we were there.
After this we had a shorter walk to the GastroPub (British English for Public House that specializes in meals) which was doing Christmas Fayre as well as traditional UK  pub meals at very reasonable prices.
We were served by an American, not that I'm complaining with my background, it's familiar enough(!) and I had a Turkey roast that came with boiled potatoes, parsnips, and mashed potatoes with trays of side vegetables like black carrots and cabbage.
It was a fitting way to end an enjoyable weekend together as people started drifting off to their homes but for me that wasn't the end of the weekend as I stayed on over  chatting, listening to music, seeing the Snooker competition and Strictly while eating B-Bq'd sourced Turkey breast before leaving the next morning on the train.
To sum up I'd like to thank Susan and Jennifer for hosting it and everyone who bought something not necessarily tangible objects to the party for making it such a fun event.

Teenbeat XVII-the RED and BLUE edition

Where do I begin with this entry? What I'm reviewing has a very long past, which is why it's  here as a Teenbeat featurette as these two records were originally issued on lp record, cassette and  super clunky 8 Track cartridge way way back in May of 1973 when I was officially young.
While two compilations had been issued by the Beatles in the UK ("A Collection of Oldies but Goldies") and North America ("Hey Jude") there had not  been a career covering set issued officially so on the backs of a unofficial multi disc set issued a year before, two two record sets were issued that took in all the UK singles A sides plus highlights from their studio lps.

This was timely as by 1973 each former Beatle had their own solo following and indeed in Paul McCartney's instance a new and highly popular band called Wings so there was a lot of interest by fans of the same for something that clued them into the past as well as those fans from the 60's who wanted a nice tidy set to remember The Beatles by.
The front cover was an alternate take to that used on their UK Please Please Me lp cover and the front for the 1967-1970 one a remake from 1969 intend for the scrapped Get Back lp.
Below are the original UK cassette inlay cards showing the covers in colour

Unlike the tapes we had in North America, those lucky Brits had each album on a single cassette and 8 Track in better quality!
These albums remained on catalogue in their original forms until September 1993 where the first cd versions were issued and then re-issued using the 2009 remasters in 2010 but for reason best known to Apple, a number of different versions were subsituted for the cd and lp/cassette reissues in 1993.

Here's a short summary:
Stereo replaced by Mono-
Please Please Me
From Me To You
Fake stereo to Mono-
Love Me Do (album version)
She Loves You
Original 1965 stereo mixes to 1986 digitally remixed with echo(!) -
Yesterday
Ticket To Ride
Help
You've Got To Hide Your Love Away
Drive My Car
Norewegian Wood
Nowhere Man
In My Life
Michelle
Girl
US stereo mix for UK stereo -
Day Tripper
Faded in lp to cold start -
A Day In The Life

So you can see what we've had for twenty years wasn't what we originally had!
Fast forward to November 24th 2014 in the UK and Europe and these lps have been newly re-issued but from the actual analogue master tapes used for the originals except for the two fake stereo tracks that were rightly put into mono.
What that means is on vinyl we can have the mixes we used to have all over again and taking advantage of modern thinking about lp cutting more effort has been put in to keeping the low notes in for deep bass and more extended treble  as as a bit more of a gap between the loudest and softest sounds in each song and a good example of this is on From Me To You which in stereo has never sounded better.
As the 2012 stereo re-issue lps were digitally sourced for now at least it's the only new spot for much of the stereo material mastered they way it used to be and sounding that much better for it.
I bought both and have to say these reissues are superior to my UK originals in so many ways it's amazing and works well with the mono albums issued a few months back much the same way.
Issued in North America December 9th by Capitol.

Chilling little style Pt II

Remember early last year where I talked about something in Chilling Little Style? The image and the likeness of the "Joanne" a twelve year girl, a part of the past life in boarding school and more? Why even it is desirable for me to remember where I'm really at.

There was even a bit of challenge around the whole notion of Pinafore Dressing me something I never had happen in my childhood, tying in with taking me back to being that child, not unlike 6 thru 12 years in school as in some schools a traditional pinafore dress is more usual although at least in this part of England you tend to see it more with the tens and under perhaps cos the older girls want to be seen as more sophisticated in separates and donning tights, something I didn't see at my school until you were in your mid teens at least.  How times change,eh?

Usually it's something like this - other styles such as box pleats, buttons etc are available  - worn over a piqued t shirt or blouse sometimes with a tie and more often than not with 'regulation' socks either ankle ones for infants or just under the knee 'long' ones for juniors
I did mention to about having the odd one although they were more adult takes on the Pinafore style and I felt like changing them. That 'Alice Band' is a nice touch too.
Well it has finally happened I am to be finally properly pinafored.

It is just like this although I was a bit worried about ordering it as the measurements provided didn't seem to make sense and math isn't my strong point so I measured out the length of a top to where I'd put the skirt over and added the skirt length that looks okay to it in order to check the length by. They also appeared to confuse Waist measurements on the chart with reference to Chest (aka Bust) on the accompanying text but as I don't know of any 4 year olds with 28" waists well that just had to be wrong as looking at children's sizing guides showed.
Anyway it is here, and having managed to take a few measurements by myself just to be sure it does actually fit having tried it on.
As I don't have a caregiver to do this for me, I'm going to put myself into it when I'm in the company of my friends, learning to feel good wearing it as the little I am. I feel it's time having written about this as long ago as 2008  as a few of you have read recently to go with my convictions and come out as that properly pinafored schoolgirl sucking her lolipops.

Joanne's Uniform Pt3

I have written a bit about the history of my little side, how that connects with how you are recorded as being one gender but feel you actually are of another and how that connects to your life as mapped by gender ridden institutions, so for me my start point on being a little and specifically the schoolgirl side starts from there.

This entry, the third in this series, is part background capsule and part update of the originals from 2011.

I became a schoolgirl exchanging my drab male uniform therefore at an early age even for brief periods while at school thanks to the girls that helped me change uniform but never really got more started on it as in putting together a full uniform until I'd left formal education.

That uniform has a strong emotional resonance to me as something I desperately wanted to own, take care of and have to wear as that girl I felt so while part of my female exploration centred around the more adult big girl, this whole schoolgirl side which had never really gone away also was a part of it. It did rather confuse me at the time having two different ideas of how I was that female and also some on the big girl side seemed to have issues with even feeling this way.

Although the term and indeed concept of 'age-play'  wasn't one I was familiar with at the time (sometimes it seems I'm playing catch up with things like that), in hindsight that's where the concept of being in a past point in time, role playing a child seems to have taken hold.

So it was around a period of major profession related stress that I started off with experimenting with netball skirts and tops, the whole girly sporty thing in part cos girls sports were what I loved to play, when I was able to talk around folks into letting me be on the team and that I wanted to play in traditional girls sports kit.

I just found the whole experienced dressed as such such a great relaxation not least for feeling I was being a part of the denied me that it was not long before I started looking more into the regular daytime schoolgirl look.

One start point into that was more adult dark goth dresses not least the pinafore type which I wore for a period before encountering online communities of adult little girls and what you might call recreational school based role playing sites and establishments looking more at the latter to try and understand more of the whole role and structure of uniform and what those who had gotten more into that got from it.

Encountering them lead me more into looking into full replica uniforms, that's to say the tops, outer garments such as skirts, socks and smalls that were and in some schools still the prescribed 'you have to wear' brands.
Traditionally one would have worn Pelerine long socks with such a uniform and at one point that was rather more what I was thinking of getting.

 Often they had eyelet patterns that used to fascinate me.

It also lead to an examination in my mind of what sort of age range the schoolgirl I wished to present as was so seeing I felt more middlish -around the ages of 9-12 than the high school sort this lead me to something like UK Juniors uniform comprising of red sweatshirt, grey pleated skirt, white or grey socks with plain t shirt and regulation school smalls and a blue pleated zip fastening games skirt.
This is more documented with pictures in the previous Joanne's Uniforms posts.
When it came to deciding what to do about the subject of the socks as this uniform is something I wear most days, I made one concession to current trends which was to get and wear these

They're the more modern replacement so while they're not replica uniform to what my real life peers had at the time they no doubt what I be wearing today in the same setting.

It's in this uniform as a schoolgirl, I've been out with littles/middles enjoying real life interactions being and playing that schoolgirl I always wanted to be finding life much much more enjoyable.

A few days ago spurred on by a local charity, I went through my wardrobe and noticed those early items that lead to being that uniformed schoolgirl, some that don't quite fit, all seldom worn today and they are to go.

As I have written about on few entries here, the idea around having actual schoolgirl daytime dresses has been with me for a long time and as those Goth variants were to go together with a few other things it was time to decide what to do about it.

Because I so wish to wear an actual schoolgirl pinafore as uniform, I decided to get myself two, one grey and one black to replace them with together with a black pleated elasticated skirt.

Looking back on this whole adventure from over a decade ago, you can say I became the schoolgirl increasingly in her pinafore, being the little I really am. The tide has turned.

Advent edition

The countdown begins to the big day today that's a must  for all littles and there's even a connection from last weeks post and this too!

 As ever this little counts it all down with a little help from Miss Kitty and friends plus a small helping of chocolate per day! That whole ritual is one the strongest memories I have of Christmas as a child.
As like last year my Calender is in the front room directly visible to the house across the road but I don't care as I often go out laden with kitty attire as next doors kids know!

Rewinding to ones computing past

I'm not feeling that great today to be honest with what feels like a winter cold coming on that I hope clears in just over a weeks time but be that as it may, I was looking a bit at the statistics Google give you about what posts people read, where they're from, any sites they used to find this blog and so on and one thing that struck me was actually some of you do read the older posts. It was that which got me thinking.
I think must of us are aware of how our experience of the Internet has changed over the years, how that's fed into what we use to access it and the different programs we've had connected with our use of computers.
I suspect many of us have what you call a desktop that after some seconds, comes up often with a colourful design.

Well as some of you have been reading posts from 2008, here's one of mine from December that year that tells you quite a few things.
To start with like now in 2008 I also was in love with Miss Kitty so I made it the main image rather than that bland Windows XP Pro  screen.
Also look at the dimensions specifically the aspect ratio, it's 4:3 that tells you I had more traditional CRT monitor the time compared to the near universal 16:9 or 16:10 Widescreen Lcd ones we have today.
Also, it's resolution is 600x800 which is very low by modern standards.
Looking at the toolbar you'll spot firstly Microsoft were highlighting an urgent security issue with that shield with ! mark and Skype was set up on the machine although I didn't use it much.
Like today you'll spot the Avast antivirus program (the blue ball with an A) that I've always used, a program for a separate webcam I no longer use, the Nero 6 Smartstart cd writing program and Yahoo messenger that I suspect a good number of us had back then as we used Yahoo's services like Geocities, messenger and email. I seldom log into Yahoo today with services from Google being that much better overall.
Also you'll spot a trio of Mozilla Foundation programs such as the browser Firefox which was much better at the time when it came to security and features than Internet Exploder 6  (I.E to some), the email program Thunderbird which I used with a lousy Internet Service Providers (I.S.P.) email services until I moved to web based mail exclusively, that organized my mail and allowed me to have coloured backgrounds and text that help my dyslexia and Sunbird, a desktop based calendar to help me with organizing my life which is effectively replaced now  by the Google cloud based Calendar.
I now use Pale Moon a Swedish forked version of Firefox as my main browser on my laptops and the old desktop is gone!
The keenly eyed will also have spotted the installation files for the free cd copying program, dbPoweramp and the shortcut for music player Winamp both of which are installed and much used on my newer laptops. There was no iTunes installed as the machine was incapable of running it although it was very popular back then.
I wonder how many of view still have pictures of your old desktops and can tell the story behind them?

Teenbeat XVI - Rumer

After the last few posts here's a return post in our Teenbeat series that does link a bit to the previous posts in that they are connected to past rituals if not likes from my actual childhood.

 

No, that wasn't my actual phonograph although it does so perfectly depict that whole girls gathered around it listening thing perfectly that we did.

Now on to the featured artist, a Pakistan born Britisher going by the stage name of Rumer ('real' name Sarah Joyce) with her new lp entitled Into Colour released this month that features the much airplayed track Dangerous.
It's usually a dangerous task to define an artist by others, but it's fair to say her style is very much routed in the singer songwriter mode and has many things in common with the late Karen Carpenter, which as seasoned blog readers know was the stuff very much on my stereo back in the 70's when I was a child (one can hardly say growing up with a straight face!).

Much to some peoples surprise in 2012 she released this album, Boy's Don't Cry which was a covers album drawing from the 70's although the lead off single P.F.Stone actually goes back to the 60's.
Initially some folk issued groans thinking she was jumping on the lucrative covers bandwagon but she makes every single song on it sound as if it was her own. 

 This was the album that started off her solo career, 2010's Seasons Of My Soul which as belatedly issued in the States the following year featuring the singles Slow and Aretha which were followed by an EP recorded with Burt Bacharach on download and very limited 7" vinyl.
She performed A House is not a Home, a  Burt Bacharach and Hal Davis song at the White House May 9th 2012 event honouring Burt.

Rumer's lp's feature different cover art from the corresponding cd and digital download editions usually designed by her and it is in that form  my collection of her recordings exists and is enjoyed.

I have made 'vintage' minidisc editions of these albums for posterity with the first two combined to a single 'extended play' disc.

Totality of indentity (a kind of essay)

After last week's entry which seemed to flow better than I anticipated, I sat down thinking a bit about about the follow up.
Some people write research papers, lecture and even publish lengthy books about things like Identity in all it's different forms and I purposely say forms because we're all different and from my point of view you can see it  as a Venn diagram  with it's overlapping elements.
For some people what can lead to an exploration of their own persona  can be a person they have a close nurturing relationship with in childhood or for some even into adulthood although for me it was more that I had that already but without the space to be me.

No doubt if I had the  space I'd been more like her as whenever I draw myself that was it and 'drawing in class' brought some of this stuff back to me recently and the crazy but true happening that upon seeing the  white frilly socks, Mommy bought me a pair and  a lolipop I could suck in her presence no less!
 Part of identity for me certainly includes an interest in ideas, people and what one could call the arts being brought up where we belonged to a book club, went to the theatre and thanks to the record club had from an early age records of favourite ballet and other classical music.
I still have a number of the books in a bookshelf.

That was one and funny enough I could say the minute I saw the cover that I had it when I was younger as the smaller ones were a special offer you got and many were 'gifted' my way.
Another one I bought used when I was around 13 from a Country Fair was this

That rather formal portrait is of the late conductor Herbert von Karajan and this record was from 1954 in a performance I'd never really forgotten being played on my stereo phonograph even though the record was mono and I was able to get a cd with this on it a short while back.

For reasons best known to themselves my folks got me one of these with a load of accessories like a radio and search light although I tended to play more with them as peace keepers rather than depressing Germans vs Allies  WW2 stuff and as far as I recall my female cousin inherited and played with them which was out of the norm back then.
Personally I wanted Barbie instead but there you go!

One of the great things about this life is the extent to which you can rediscover play, feeling free to play more on the notion of what it is you'd rather be doing rather than any gender based restrictions by parents, play groups or schools that for some of us were issues at the time.
For me it helps deal with certain more specific to me issues such as my learning disabilities that can and does make deal with adult responsibilities very frustrating when you struggle with the means because I can focus more around things I can do, enjoying them. And so being disabled too for me is also a big part of my identity (I'm not with one, I has one in my whole being) too having had it from birth.
So this identity thing is pretty important for us personally although I don't feel people should put up rigid barriers between themselves  based purely upon that, focusing more on what we have in common.

On lifestyle (An essay of sorts)

It's a while since I looked at the statistics of this blog, in part cos I think they can be a little misleading at times, but it appears it's had over 51,000 page views since it started and is one of the prominent alg blogs around.
The person who worked out it also could be described as a slice of alg  life blog got that right because its coverage is broader than just about me being a little/middle it's also about the life and how I see that from it.

For I suspect most of us, this life in its differing aspects such as our child-like interests, sense of dressing more as a little - for me little/middle girl - gender presentation for some and so on comes from within.
Certainly speaking purely personally it's something I've felt for a very long time in my so-called real life even if some individual aspects may of changed over time like my more recent feeling comfortable with the more frillier side of being alg.
It is something that we feel, something that we need perhaps in our lives not that we may not have balance this sometimes with more adult responsibilities like paying the bills and for a good many, needing to work too.
We own that sense of self, working it as best we can to suit our requirements and we're in control of that at all times. In other words we're responsible for our sense of little and where we take it.
This is I feel a bit different than what you may see elsewhere where it's portrayed as being "Forced" although I'd say that's not an accurate description so much as the person doing that is more the one enabling, using psychological suggestions, a sense of wanting to be enabled in the subject as no one can in the everyday sense of the word make you do feel or do something you don't wish.
The person buys into it in other words and I suspect they may not have the confidence to just do it by themselves if that's really them. 
It's a different feeling I think from any sense  of, if you're transgendered, wanting wrongs in the form of gendered presentation to be put aright as being enabled to say attend school in the gender you feel which I can well understand from personal experience.
That's just about you as the child back then, being able to be yourself, the gender you really feel, and to have the childhood involving  play and schooling you deserved and all to often never got although through the miracle of age-play you may well be able to recreate something of it such as at meets or in creating say school based role playing especially if it can be face to face.
All I know is I loved some of these elements at Camp, they made me feel more complete and very happy. Maybe it does for you?

The Wind Rises

It's Halloween here today but apart from having a ghoulish time of it tonight I have a new anime to watch.

A little different than most because it is very much about Jiro a Japanese aeronautical designer who worked for Mitshibushi who was inspired by the Italian Caproni who because he'd been nearsighted from a young age wasn't able to become a pilot joins the company in 1927.
He goes on to become one of the world's most innovative and accomplished airplane designers and in that respect this anime by Hayao Miyazaki is a tribute to him.
A seconary interest in this anime, unexpected and much appreciated by me watching it is the romance between Jiro and Nahoko who is ill with tuberculosis marrying her. Some of the scenes showing his love for her during periods where she was very ill are really moving.
The anime, chronicles much of his life time, the Great Kanto Earthquake of 1923, the Great Depression and the entrance of Japan into war in 1937.
The film also explores the growing friendship between him and his colleague Honja.
While some have criticized this anime for being ambivalent on what Jiro designed, warplanes that were a important part of Japan's war machinery, the overall message is one of how war only brings down countries and anti war opinions are voiced.
Overall I thought this was a really good anime, a fitting tribute not just to Jiro but also to the director.

Happy halloween folks!

Ghoulish togetherness or Fall LG Camp

If anyone wondered why I was a bit quiet last week when it comes to social media and so on  it was because I was at a LG meet aka "Camp" for several days where we can all be ourselves for a few days although we had some planned activities organized by fellow attendees.
For me  it was a bit different as I spent a few days either side of camp ending at the one at the kind school with the Head Girl and First Former in full uniform to whom I travelled down with.
No need to fall off of the chair but the first time ever I had my nails painted  for the entire duration with help from a n other which apart from curing my nail biting issues also helped me feel more feminine so thank you for talking me into it.
The first day was more a meet and greet as we arrived in the late afternoon sharing candy and eating food (most had Indian takeways but GHS did their own catering) and games.
On Friday thanks to Y.T and the Bear, we had oatcakes and bacon with breakfast, had a Halloween  themed Fish and chip meal  that was ordered plus collected by a couple of attendees plus a competition for the best Halloween outfit so I had a Death Kitty black and pink netted skirt with skull and cross bones on with black tights followed in the evening by a ghoulish disco.
Also most attendees made Pumpkin Lanterns carving out ghoulish faces with knives that were lit with "Tea lights" but as I'm not good with those things I made this instead!

I'd had this set for a bit and took it with me to make as you can make three things from it so I opted to make a Helicopter.
Friday and Saturdays middayish meal was a hand prepared super cold meat platter with pork pie and  salad  people helped themselves to.
On the Saturday thanks to two persons, we had home made Pancakes with breakfast which was a choice of cereal and toast.
The "Sticky One" held a monster class where she gave a presentation about Monsters and handed out a task for completion,namely to draw a monster and explain all about it.
I drew "Persianous Cateious" who was a cat monster I imagined at the age of 7 who had bright yellow eyes,  who'd growl and tear me apart from under the bed with fawn and red coloured fur. As I explained the cat died of natural causes but it kept me  awake at night during that period as it scared me.
We were visited for the day by three long term friends who sadly aren't able to come for the whole time but spend the day with us which was kinda fun and two bought delicious cupcakes which I was noted to have eaten with fork and napkin most delicately so not to get it all over my clothes and face.
Also, as it had been sunny, a swing had been temporarily erected in the grounds so I spent some time swinging back and forth on it without a care in the world.
In the afternoon, one member organized a treasure hunt based around the Addams Family stories centring on solving the mystery of Who Killed Mrs Death (The Cat) with clues positioned in the building to find and read which when I found it were read with my obvious accent!
The Green Team created a lovely chicken roast evening meal with a choice of deserts from scratch. 
The Sunday was more taken up with packing ones case, tidying up the place for the people we pay to use it and saying goodbyes. Those of us leaving late had a meal from the left overs before departing and our group went back via a well known Black Country castle to school enjoying a takeaway meal together before I left for the rail station the following day.
Thanks to the Organizers, the littles who bigged up to do stuff like cook, tidy up, run events and fetch food and the GHS people for making it possible for me to attend such a hugely enjoyable event.

The Middle side of Little: Frilled in skater skirt with side pleats, I actually enjoyed arriving at camp looking more little and can 'own' being a bit  more frilled than in the past which is something for me and thanks to all of you for helping me find the confidence  from within to step out my comfort zone and what is more, enjoy it.

Cold smiles!

Would it surprise you to find actually there's something I do really love?

I first encountered this when I was chronologically little usually in folded over cardboard containers from the frozen food cabinet in our nearest towns store looking for something to have with our Sunday main meal.
Called Neapolitan Icecream, it has the strawberry, vanilla and chocolate flavours all in one arranged so when you slice it, you get equal portions of each flavour and it went well with jelly!
Just marvellous!

Tumblring Adventures

Another week goes by and while rather busy here, I have a couple of things to mention of which the first is I'll be off this next week for a few days minus laptop so I won't to making any posts or in chat on Tuesday.
The other is oddly enough my random jottings littles centric Tumblr appears to be taking off when it comes to followers being in the mid 50's so thanks for all there who do follow it.

Meanwhile and not entirely unconnected with some of the above, this was something I just loved doing at school way back when be it solo skipping or playing skipping games to rhymes in threes or more taking turns.
Such fun!
There will be a post next week placed in the scheduler but unfortunately it doesn't send links out via Google Plus or place them on DD, Tumblr or IK so you'll have to tune in around the usual time directly to this blog to see it.

Frilled edition!

A good good while back we had the Frill Free Edition now here's it's opposite!
Not something I usually talk about  and certainly never something you'll see peeking out all seedily on this blog ever but actually some of us do a bit of the frilly albeit in a restrained way possibly cos we're exploring things.

In my case probably more I just feel like sometimes being more girlie some of the time at least and something that is relatively plain with fully elasticated legs for a snug fit appeals more than some designs and I feel happy in them.

Plus I got a couple of pairs of these white frilly ankle socks to go with them and these do go just above the ankle which I prefer looking a bit more balenced with the skirt lengths I usually wear.

Teenbeat XV - The Beatles in mono

The genius of this entry goes back three weeks ago to September 8th at least in the UK as  that was when a rather special set of vinyl lp records was issued in both individual and boxed set form with the box set featuring a big book with a history of the records , pictures of tape boxes and naturally enough, the artists themselves.
It is also a follow one to November 2012's Teenbeat special that was timed to do with the stereo vinyl re-issues and how that slotted into my collection started in my earlier life.

The first thing to say is in this set there are 11 albums, the first 9 UK titles, the American compiled but later adopted in the UK Magical Mystery Tour and the new Triple Mono Masters compilation.
I opted to buy them individually as with a bit of searching I could get the whole set for much less than I anticipated and it's not every day you can get a set of brand new mono albums made directly from the tapes, the way they did in the 60's with not one jolt of digital processing involved.

An indication of the attention to detail in this set is the label above being a copy of the one used on the very first copies of the Please Please Me album from March 1963, the other UK original albums through Sgt Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club band have period Yellow and Black labels with the White Album (aka "The Beatles") and the new Mono Masters triple having dark green Granny Smith Apple designs.

This one being American in origin has a replica Capitol colourband rim design as original Capitol lps did back then. Originally the songs from the film were issued in the UK on two 7 inch singles in a book and the stereo lp was eventually issued in November 1976 for that territory.
The sleeve construction owning a few originals is the same although the way the glossy lamination is achieved is different.
The White Album has individual issue numbers stamped on the front to each copy and top opening slots for each record, the four pictures and poster just like the originals did.
I have just one of them left to arrive but overall these sound at least as good as in number of instances better than my originals such as of the UK Revolver or early 80's extremely limited edition mono issues (the so-called '81's) like my copy of With The Beatles while I've never owned the White Album and Magical Mystery Tour in their mono  forms.
It seems using the tapes directly and altering the sound slightly per track while making the lacquers used to make the records has given them a transparency that has never been on any previous lps and in comparison with the Beatles in mono cd box set  is lacking from that.
While not  much processing  to the tone was done on the cd box set, it's obvious some tidying up like editing and click removing  was done digitally when you compare the actual records to the cds but it doesn't undermine the value of the cd set for those who prefer that media.
Why mono? Because for much of 60's the final mix was done first to mono, the one speaker systems most people had taking a lot of care with the impact and critically with the Beatles they were present during that process.
In the UK All the singles from Love Me Do to Get Back were only released in mono so the original mixes were the mono ones although from 1970's many compilation albums featured only stereo mixes done later.
In so far as original studio albums go the stereo mixes were done later usually by engineers in a half hour or so with no input from the Beatles so these mono mixes were more what they wanted their fans to hear and there are a good number of significant differences  between them with Sgt Peppers Lonely Hearts Club band sounding more finished, nay arresting as a listening experience compared to the stereo.
It's important to note the first two UK albums were not recorded with any aim of making a stereo record so much as using two tracks to fine tune the balance between vocals and instruments later on which why in 'stereo' you have that odd backing in one speaker, vocals on the other effect.
The final album in this series, Mono Masters is a triple album that has those singles with flip sides and other tracks not originally  released in the UK on album form from the original single mix of Love Me Do to You Know My Name from the b side of the Let It Be via such singles as I Want To Hold Your Hand, I Feel Fine, Day Tripper, Hey Jude and the last UK mono single Get Back. It also has the entire Long Tall Sally EP plus dedicated mixes made a projected EP of songs from the Yellow Submarine that were never issued given a separate lp side meaning if you don't need the stereo versions, the Yellow Submarine album isn't really needed as there were only two other songs that are on it by the Beatles and they were issued on previous albums anyway.
Like most people who bought it, I feel compared to the 7 inch singles the sound is that much fuller for having more vinyl space to accommodate the full range of loud and soft passages and low notes in this unique compilation. It also is more convenient too than flipping 45's every two and half to three minutes with the 6 sides covering fairly well defined eras in the group.

The records:
Please Please Me
With The Beatles *
A Hard Day's Night
Beatles For Sale
Help!
Rubber Soul
Revolver
Sgt Peppers Lonely Hearts Club Band
Magical Mystery Tour
The Beatles (better know as the "White Album"**
Mono Masters.
*= Known to Canadians as Beatlemania with the beatles, the first album we had!
** not issued in mono in Canada and the States, ever.

This set slots nicely into my collection replacing a number of copies whose sound I wasn't so happy with and enabled me to remove a couple of albums whose contents are now totally replicated in better sound, generally tidying matters up.

Something's afoot!

He he, that got y'all excited didn't it?
Mommy excelled herself this week with a couple of unexpected gifts for me

Cute bunny furry slippers for keeping me warm during the winter months.

And some cute kitty socks too!

Teenbeat XIIII - Steely Dan is "Collected"

This week post nearly didn't happen thanks to a severe migraine complete with flashing lights and electrical storms in my brain but here we go.
The Jazz influenced sounds of Steely Dan, comprising of Donald Fagen and Walter Becker  with other assorted helpers have long been a favourite of mine but between a sad story of sticky analogue tapes saved to a digital format that itself had issues like a major corporation that lack a playback machine for it and the odd decision to bump up the low and high notes and squash the gap between loud and soft sounds on the current  editions tying to find decent sounding Steely Dan has been challenging shall we say.

This is a band who had a way with lyrics and arrangements  as evidenced on songs like Rikki Don't Lose That Number, Reeling In The Years, Aja and Do It Again and recently I found this triple cd compilation issued in the Netherlands by Universal that does sound rather good with a generous selection from their 1972-1980 albums including the song FM from the movie of the same name.
It'll do until some one can remaster the studio albums anew.