Yet another 365 days in the World of Joanne_chan

Another rip-roaring year comes to an end, so it's time for the almost annual review of what happened some most unexpected with reflections so where do we start?
Continuing with social media such as last years launch on Tumblr of a random likes kawaii pastel blog that makes no apology for being a littles one, it's increased it's followers to 89 to date, leading to interesting conversations, breaking down some barriers between different communities.
Regarding this blog - the main one -  it's recently celebrated it's 500th post so I've done some work around the favourite sites updating and adding links as well as tidying the side of the template up.
It gets a pretty big page view per month so as I know where many of them are thanks to GT, FA, IK, Tumblr followers and Angels members who should of spotted the new Tg blog listing as the old messy one got tidied away.
It was the year I 'arrived'  attending UK LG camp twice arrived being in reflection being the apt word for I arrived and departed full dressed whizzing across the motorway network apart from spending days at a time dressed 24/7 as myself.
I enjoyed my time playing with everyone, helping out  within my disability centred limitations to make the occasion enjoyable, one where we all could relax and just let our little sides out as it is for each of us individually for none of us is 'the same'.
I also spent some enjoyable days with the Misses, Susan, Jennifer and Andi being in the Midland triangle like me, enjoying great food and conversation.
Going back a few paragraphs though what of me and my self image?
One thing I learnt through being out more was getting handle on being myself coming from rather conservative (in some respects) controlled background it was less about 'trying' and rather more about 'being', working more with gut instinct the space dressed as you are.
Chatting to the barman at the pub during the GHS Xmas party with nails painted might of been nerve wracking at one time but I acquitted myself rather well there.
I also made peace with the frilly side (you'll be safe at Camp though Karen Marie!) following a number issues connected with the contexts I encountered in my early exploratory stage of being a little that I found less than comfortable with to the point of arriving at Fall Camp partially frilled.
I can now say "I have a feminine frilly side" even if practicality is a big thing with me. Gasp!
If from a littles side the main form of presentation had been more the uniformed school girl as seen in the Uniform posts of 2011, the year saw the public wearing of a skater skirt and for the Halloween evening, the Goth Death Kitty skirt with mesh, which was bit out of usual comfort zone but a good thing because I learnt to handle that better. And Camp's good for that too.
The other thing is that school girl has found her ultimate expression, one some of you saw for real, other like had to make do with the picture, being in a pinafore dress.
It's so me you'll be seeing more of it during 2015.
The home scene is more evolution rather than revolution that may be a bit slow for some but we're are getting somewhere with the ability (preparedness to help with too) to paint ones nails, be downstairs and eat  an evening meal fully dressed, buy suitably lg presents and gifts and so on.   Much of this would not of been accepted at the beginning of the year.
Getting toleration and working on acceptance works better here than outright confrontation.
When it comes music, I bought rather a lot of new vinyl lps such as those by Tom Petty, Rumer and 14 Beatles lps including all the Beatles in Mono series of reissues and  a number of cd sets such as the Beatles US Albums, Philadelphia International Collection 20 cd  box set, a special decent Steely Dan set plus the entire SOS bands back catalogue most which were written about in the Teenbeat retro styled entries.
I also filled some gaps in my Soul and Motown collections genres where well chosen single or multi artist compilations can be more rewarding than individual titles.
We also talked a bit about taking that music out with you on portable players, making great sounding copy files as there's life outside of iTunes and Amazon's download stores when it comes to having something to play on the train or when away.
I enjoyed "is the Order a Rabbit?", Sailor Moon Crystal, K-on series 2 and the continuing magic based adventures of FairyTail on the anime front.
I replaced my dvd player as it died just before playing a Fairy Tail box set and some classic Disney dvds like Pollyanna and The Aristocats, the latter has some of the coolest jazz on it's soundtrack.
I also acquired through rehoming a number of new dolls that I wanted during my original childhood that I've shared with others.
Everything just came together this year so here's to an exciting 2015!

Christmas Edition 2014

Well, now were officially a few days past it, here's my Christmas edition for this year where as ever I ramble on about Christmas as it lived by me.
The first thing to say is Christmas for me is first and foremost a littles affair, practically a childrens one starting with the great anticipation, the week before and building up on Christmas Eve where I sat with Mommy watching the Carols from King's concert on tv in one of my Pinafore Dresses before eating.
I was wake around Half past  Six Christmas Day with anticipation about which list of Santa's  I was one, hoping it wasn't the naughty one, getting washed and dressed  to comedown stairs (in our family you absolutely never come down stairs without being properly dressed, ever) and fix breakfast.
It wasn't long before the sacks were found and surprisingly I wasn't on the wrong list (with a bag of coal and a voucher redeemable for free smacks) so I started on opening them.
There were a number of Annuals, those perennials from my childhood where you got a softback book featuring cartoon strips from your favourite comics, extra features, quizzes  and games.

As the initiated know, I do read this comic a lot loving the adventures of Minnie The Minx, Dennis The Menace and the Bash Street Kids so here's this years annual.

A comic I used to love but has folded from weekly publishing was the Dandy with Korky the Cat and Desperate Dan of Cow Pie fame but they do specials such as this years annual so I was mighty glad to get that one.

 An author of books I love to read is Jacqueline Wilson and every year there's an annual out about her, the many stories she's written featuring Tracy Beaker (a heroine of mine) with tips on writing and drawing. I also got the Hello Kitty annual with stories and pictures you can colour.

Talking Kitty, I got a note pad and pencil from my Brother and partner which was pleasant surprise.
But the biggest surprise was yet to come.

Yes, my parents actually surpassed themselves and bought me this Grafix Build your own Teddy Bear kit that you stuff, sow the back and badge onto and fill out the Birth Certificate for!
I mean, you couldn't get so little with me me if you tried as this suitable for anyone over five (Foive in South Staffordshire speak) bear you can carry around with you hugging after completion.
After going out for lunch, I got changed into a Tartan skirt coming down the stairs in the late afternoon watching tv for a bit before we had a light evening meal as I was feeling a bit full.
One of my brothers forget his present so he's due to come back with it sometime soon while the other one realized he forgot to give my my main present so money that'll go toward some more blouses as I go through my closet replacing  and updating clothes.
Typed before evening meal in Red and Green GHS uniform with grey socks as I have no wish to have to wear trousers to eat at night with and the 'rent's are getting used to it!

Pinafore dresses II

This post goes back to December 7th, 2008 where I talked about what I loved about Pinafore dresses as a style and in particular what that meant to me so I wasn't really sure if a sequel was really called for but seeing that it was a very popular entry on this blog, in a way you dear readers have settled it.
You see I actually wore one at the Littles Party for two days no less and it confirmed much of what I wrote back then.

The first thing to say is I found wearing it extremely comfortable, with plenty of movement in the shoulders and arms which I quite enjoyed.
Also I did wear actual blouses with it which wasn't my original plan but it worked out fine, finding the dressing experience which is something I do find difficult in real life (not that anything in my life isn't) quite easy, getting myself in it and zipping myself up.
As was said by persons whose names I won't mention, actually it does really suit me going on my frame very well and they weren't flattering me as I have to say they were absolutely right about that.
I look as if I belong in them.

It's obvious then that I now know what works so with that, I shall be wearing more pinafore dresses in the future including a black one just like this with a pocket and I will be getting some more white blouses as they just look right under them as that also ties in with more girlization of the wardrobe as nearly everything else is apart from a couple of pairs of trousers regardless of what may happen in the future.
They are me.

Card edition

Just a few more posts to go before the end of year and as I'm slowly getting there, here's something for all of you.

Regards Jo.

There should be one other post before Christmas Day then probably a bit of break over that period  as I'll be with family.

500th post

Do you know something? This happens to be 500th post here at the World of Joanne_chan which is quite a milestone (not a Millstone) in its history.

 Indeed it almost never really got started between pressures from my career and having an early version of a blogging tool that was used for more mainstream "big" posts  and if you really want to know the truth, actually I'd of much sooner just had this one cos it's everything about me.
When I say everything, I mean starting with having this very much childlike (but not childish) little girl side that has never gone away , enjoying the simpler things of life like dolls, teddies, engaging in children's games and interests.
It's taken me to different places, meeting some remarkable people who share the same side mixed in with their more groan up side all trying to balance both sides of themselves and sometimes with having partners too.
It's also the only blog that deals with an important side of my life quite openly, that I am transgendered and how that taps into issues from my own childhood, having an inner girl child and has lead to me presenting as that female both at home and increasingly in the presence of others, something that has helped me an awful lot.
Our community, the alg community, has supported in its own way, me in all of this.
In this blog I do talk from time to time about things such as music, books and anime which have been great interests of mine for a while but in a different way, more from how they tie into my past and the child within me which sometimes by accident has occurred elsewhere as ultimately I can only be me wherever I may post.
To mark the occasion of this 500th post, the blog avatar as well as mine at GT and IK have been given a makeover to better reflect the feel and spirit of the school girl aged inner child as it comes out. We all know that's me.
Seeing it was inspired very much by the spirit of Little Karen Marie's blog I'll conclude by thanking her for her inspiration as well as that of other blogs I encountered in the early days of founding out what being an adult little girl was (and why it's me) and hope you'll join me in toast to the next 500!
Hugs, Joanne
xxx

GHS littles Christmas party 2014

Comments, thanks and accounts of this years Littles Party at GHS have been posted in the usual space at GT but as ever here's the Joanne account.
For me the journey started a bit early with having to catch a bus from our estate to the nearest point to meet  a bus bound for Crewe rail station in order to catch the service to GHS Central which had concerned me as following a change of operator for Saturday on the main service with major attendance issues (many no-shows) and the other service having a big change over of staff a fair number of which play fast and loose with the scheduled route.
But anyway eight minutes late the first bus arrived and I was able to run across the sidewalk to the other side to catch the second bus with seconds flat.
Enroute I left a message for Ms Andi's transportation and as efficient as ever meet me  having made my way from Platform Three while two other attendees  arrived  shortly afterward as we made our way to the imposing surrounds of GHS where two others were already present, helping Susan and Jennifer, our hostesses.
Upon arrival like a few others I changed into my dress - yes, d-r-e-s-s -, put my Hello Kitty slipper socks on and came down showing of something else a few may not expected, nails painted in advance as I'd decided after camp and that experience I actually was going to have them painted  from now on.
The only real surprise in this was the source of the painted nails as I had expected to have to do this all by myself but after a bath but as ever fully dressed, I calmed asked Mommy if she'd do my nails and surprisingly she just went ahead and did them!
This is something I'd not of expected back in December 2013.
Also I brought along Amy, a big Holly Hobby doll, with me.
Anyway toward the tail end of the afternoon, Jennifer, Andi and I think a n other disappeared toward the kitchen to cook the most wonderful Beef Burgers from the local butcher while we await the amazing Sticky One and partner to arrive as they were stuck in slow moving afternoon Christmas traffic.
An improvised sorting office was set up for exchanging Christmas cards.
We played pinning on the Donkey's Tail  with the picture mounted on  board, pin and using an improvised blindfold, hoping to get as close as we could to putting that pin in the right spot (and NOT in the wallpaper).
Susan had organized a Christmas treasure hunt  with clues around GHS indoors and outside you had to find that lead to the others and each had their own prize so we charged around the premises in hot pursuit of them. As it happened I actually found three clues and so got three Christmas Chocolates, while the Sticky One won the main prize.
Between eating a cold salad with cake and a marvellous trifle home made by Ms Andi, we played games such as The Logo Game with questions about famous brands and logos in addition to Articulate, the game where you have to try to describe a word without using it, your team members getting what the word was.
We also played music from cds in addition to vinyl records and even some 50's original 78's by Bill Haley where Caroline and Karla showed off the Jive (they're pretty good at it)
Eventually by just after 1AM we made our way to sleep, where I slept with the GHS coal fire for company waking up around 8 AM which was late for me but I think I needed the rest as it had been way beyond my normal bedtime.
Having gotten up and dressed, I had a cup of tea as I reckoned I didn't really need to eating any more but chatted to everyone as they woke up and had breakfast which included bacon sandwiches.
Around 10:30, we assembled to go on a walk along a former rail line and over part of the Staffordshire and Worcestershire canal though woodland encountering joggers, dogs, ducks, a water pumping station and goodly number of locks. I think it was around 1 and a half or more miles but although it was hard going for me I enjoyed being out in the open enjoying the countryside.
The walk lead to something that turned out to be really good, a Christmas Fair with a lot of home made crafts present on the stores (about 30) and a pop up drinks and snacks place who were  selling decorations, stuff related to present wrapping like paper, bows, decorations to hang up as well as plushies and dolls

.
I bought a Little Red Riding Hood  home made doll and I believe quite a few of us got various things while we were there.
After this we had a shorter walk to the GastroPub (British English for Public House that specializes in meals) which was doing Christmas Fayre as well as traditional UK  pub meals at very reasonable prices.
We were served by an American, not that I'm complaining with my background, it's familiar enough(!) and I had a Turkey roast that came with boiled potatoes, parsnips, and mashed potatoes with trays of side vegetables like black carrots and cabbage.
It was a fitting way to end an enjoyable weekend together as people started drifting off to their homes but for me that wasn't the end of the weekend as I stayed on over  chatting, listening to music, seeing the Snooker competition and Strictly while eating B-Bq'd sourced Turkey breast before leaving the next morning on the train.
To sum up I'd like to thank Susan and Jennifer for hosting it and everyone who bought something not necessarily tangible objects to the party for making it such a fun event.

Teenbeat XVII-the RED and BLUE edition

Where do I begin with this entry? What I'm reviewing has a very long past, which is why it's  here as a Teenbeat featurette as these two records were originally issued on lp record, cassette and  super clunky 8 Track cartridge way way back in May of 1973 when I was officially young.
While two compilations had been issued by the Beatles in the UK ("A Collection of Oldies but Goldies") and North America ("Hey Jude") there had not  been a career covering set issued officially so on the backs of a unofficial multi disc set issued a year before, two two record sets were issued that took in all the UK singles A sides plus highlights from their studio lps.

This was timely as by 1973 each former Beatle had their own solo following and indeed in Paul McCartney's instance a new and highly popular band called Wings so there was a lot of interest by fans of the same for something that clued them into the past as well as those fans from the 60's who wanted a nice tidy set to remember The Beatles by.
The front cover was an alternate take to that used on their UK Please Please Me lp cover and the front for the 1967-1970 one a remake from 1969 intend for the scrapped Get Back lp.
Below are the original UK cassette inlay cards showing the covers in colour

Unlike the tapes we had in North America, those lucky Brits had each album on a single cassette and 8 Track in better quality!
These albums remained on catalogue in their original forms until September 1993 where the first cd versions were issued and then re-issued using the 2009 remasters in 2010 but for reason best known to Apple, a number of different versions were subsituted for the cd and lp/cassette reissues in 1993.

Here's a short summary:
Stereo replaced by Mono-
Please Please Me
From Me To You
Fake stereo to Mono-
Love Me Do (album version)
She Loves You
Original 1965 stereo mixes to 1986 digitally remixed with echo(!) -
Yesterday
Ticket To Ride
Help
You've Got To Hide Your Love Away
Drive My Car
Norewegian Wood
Nowhere Man
In My Life
Michelle
Girl
US stereo mix for UK stereo -
Day Tripper
Faded in lp to cold start -
A Day In The Life

So you can see what we've had for twenty years wasn't what we originally had!
Fast forward to November 24th 2014 in the UK and Europe and these lps have been newly re-issued but from the actual analogue master tapes used for the originals except for the two fake stereo tracks that were rightly put into mono.
What that means is on vinyl we can have the mixes we used to have all over again and taking advantage of modern thinking about lp cutting more effort has been put in to keeping the low notes in for deep bass and more extended treble  as as a bit more of a gap between the loudest and softest sounds in each song and a good example of this is on From Me To You which in stereo has never sounded better.
As the 2012 stereo re-issue lps were digitally sourced for now at least it's the only new spot for much of the stereo material mastered they way it used to be and sounding that much better for it.
I bought both and have to say these reissues are superior to my UK originals in so many ways it's amazing and works well with the mono albums issued a few months back much the same way.
Issued in North America December 9th by Capitol.

Chilling little style Pt II

Remember early last year where I talked about something in Chilling Little Style? The image and the likeness of the "Joanne" a twelve year girl, a part of the past life in boarding school and more? Why even it is desirable for me to remember where I'm really at.

There was even a bit of challenge around the whole notion of Pinafore Dressing me something I never had happen in my childhood, tying in with taking me back to being that child, not unlike 6 thru 12 years in school as in some schools a traditional pinafore dress is more usual although at least in this part of England you tend to see it more with the tens and under perhaps cos the older girls want to be seen as more sophisticated in separates and donning tights, something I didn't see at my school until you were in your mid teens at least.  How times change,eh?

Usually it's something like this - other styles such as box pleats, buttons etc are available  - worn over a piqued t shirt or blouse sometimes with a tie and more often than not with 'regulation' socks either ankle ones for infants or just under the knee 'long' ones for juniors
I did mention to about having the odd one although they were more adult takes on the Pinafore style and I felt like changing them. That 'Alice Band' is a nice touch too.
Well it has finally happened I am to be finally properly pinafored.

It is just like this although I was a bit worried about ordering it as the measurements provided didn't seem to make sense and math isn't my strong point so I measured out the length of a top to where I'd put the skirt over and added the skirt length that looks okay to it in order to check the length by. They also appeared to confuse Waist measurements on the chart with reference to Chest (aka Bust) on the accompanying text but as I don't know of any 4 year olds with 28" waists well that just had to be wrong as looking at children's sizing guides showed.
Anyway it is here, and having managed to take a few measurements by myself just to be sure it does actually fit having tried it on.
As I don't have a caregiver to do this for me, I'm going to put myself into it when I'm in the company of my friends, learning to feel good wearing it as the little I am. I feel it's time having written about this as long ago as 2008  as a few of you have read recently to go with my convictions and come out as that properly pinafored schoolgirl sucking her lolipops.

Joanne's Uniform Pt3

I have written a bit about the history of my little side, how that connects with how you are recorded as being one gender but feel you actually are of another and how that connects to your life as mapped by gender ridden institutions, so for me my start point on being a little and specifically the schoolgirl side starts from there.

This entry, the third in this series, is part background capsule and part update of the originals from 2011.

I became a schoolgirl exchanging my drab male uniform therefore at an early age even for brief periods while at school thanks to the girls that helped me change uniform but never really got more started on it as in putting together a full uniform until I'd left formal education.

That uniform has a strong emotional resonance to me as something I desperately wanted to own, take care of and have to wear as that girl I felt so while part of my female exploration centred around the more adult big girl, this whole schoolgirl side which had never really gone away also was a part of it. It did rather confuse me at the time having two different ideas of how I was that female and also some on the big girl side seemed to have issues with even feeling this way.

Although the term and indeed concept of 'age-play'  wasn't one I was familiar with at the time (sometimes it seems I'm playing catch up with things like that), in hindsight that's where the concept of being in a past point in time, role playing a child seems to have taken hold.

So it was around a period of major profession related stress that I started off with experimenting with netball skirts and tops, the whole girly sporty thing in part cos girls sports were what I loved to play, when I was able to talk around folks into letting me be on the team and that I wanted to play in traditional girls sports kit.

I just found the whole experienced dressed as such such a great relaxation not least for feeling I was being a part of the denied me that it was not long before I started looking more into the regular daytime schoolgirl look.

One start point into that was more adult dark goth dresses not least the pinafore type which I wore for a period before encountering online communities of adult little girls and what you might call recreational school based role playing sites and establishments looking more at the latter to try and understand more of the whole role and structure of uniform and what those who had gotten more into that got from it.

Encountering them lead me more into looking into full replica uniforms, that's to say the tops, outer garments such as skirts, socks and smalls that were and in some schools still the prescribed 'you have to wear' brands.
Traditionally one would have worn Pelerine long socks with such a uniform and at one point that was rather more what I was thinking of getting.

 Often they had eyelet patterns that used to fascinate me.

It also lead to an examination in my mind of what sort of age range the schoolgirl I wished to present as was so seeing I felt more middlish -around the ages of 9-12 than the high school sort this lead me to something like UK Juniors uniform comprising of red sweatshirt, grey pleated skirt, white or grey socks with plain t shirt and regulation school smalls and a blue pleated zip fastening games skirt.
This is more documented with pictures in the previous Joanne's Uniforms posts.
When it came to deciding what to do about the subject of the socks as this uniform is something I wear most days, I made one concession to current trends which was to get and wear these

They're the more modern replacement so while they're not replica uniform to what my real life peers had at the time they no doubt what I be wearing today in the same setting.

It's in this uniform as a schoolgirl, I've been out with littles/middles enjoying real life interactions being and playing that schoolgirl I always wanted to be finding life much much more enjoyable.

A few days ago spurred on by a local charity, I went through my wardrobe and noticed those early items that lead to being that uniformed schoolgirl, some that don't quite fit, all seldom worn today and they are to go.

As I have written about on few entries here, the idea around having actual schoolgirl daytime dresses has been with me for a long time and as those Goth variants were to go together with a few other things it was time to decide what to do about it.

Because I so wish to wear an actual schoolgirl pinafore as uniform, I decided to get myself two, one grey and one black to replace them with together with a black pleated elasticated skirt.

Looking back on this whole adventure from over a decade ago, you can say I became the schoolgirl increasingly in her pinafore, being the little I really am. The tide has turned.

Advent edition

The countdown begins to the big day today that's a must  for all littles and there's even a connection from last weeks post and this too!

 As ever this little counts it all down with a little help from Miss Kitty and friends plus a small helping of chocolate per day! That whole ritual is one the strongest memories I have of Christmas as a child.
As like last year my Calender is in the front room directly visible to the house across the road but I don't care as I often go out laden with kitty attire as next doors kids know!