Recovery

Monday's, eh?

That so me you know. 
These last few days have felt pretty awful as I had a migraine I couldn't shake off and I'm only just getting more up to speed and feeling brighter right now so I have to go to my room and rest a lot.
It's nothing new sadly, been  like this ever since I was small, missing a lot of my education with thing and another so I've been playing catch up in many areas of my life so actually being a middle/little makes things more bearable, like watching a favourite film time and again it's comforting.
Comforting can mean extended periods cuddling up to plushies, not worrying to much about anything that's going on in the 'big' world feeling loved as people look after you and so on so I sure don't enjoy my migraines, I don't frame them in as whole negative thing in my life cos in all that I experience good emotions and sometimes find I see situations clearer that I can use when I'm better.
Thanks to everyone at certain forums for your support.

Dept of strange affairs!

Wednesday was fun.
I'd just gotten up and had my breakfast as Grumpy was due out and as he was about to open the front door something snucked past his legs or rather through them as he said "Marmalade's just come in" before shutting the door
Marmalade comes through in a rush and then I realized something was not  quite right here and said  with some urgency "I think we have a problem, Mom".
Seconds later I saw what the 'problem' was.
I could see this shadow over his mouth and then something was showing quite visible with feathers and a beak. Yes that darn cat had been hunting and gotten a baby Finch when he decided to dash into the house so he 'play' with it in the relative comfort of a gas warmed front room!
The flamin' cheek of it!
I got hold of him and it dropped from his mouth. Thankfully it was dead as that would of saved me from either seeing if it could be nursed back to health or having to put it down which makes me feel all queasy.
I put it in bag and buried it in the back of the garden well out of sight of the local cats as didn't see why they should have a meal out of this unfortunate incident.

Yesterday had it's own moments too. Like as some of you know I have much of my music stored on micro sd cards for my music player for use out and about or  I'm poorly which isn't exactly uncommon with me, to play via it to a small stereo in my rest room.
It saves faffing about finding the recording and putting it on a cd or turntable when I'm feeling seriously yukky.
Anyway I like the awesome Canadian group Rush, always did and had been getting the new better than regular cd High Definition downloads  my player plays extremely well and I keep a spare card with back ups of them on.
Imagine then my reaction when while changing a card and it flys through mid air and I can't see it landed!
I was tearing my hair out trying to find it last night and have only just spotted it at the very end of the room in a dark corner just visible by it's gold plated contacts where it had landed contact side up!
I can see I'm gonna have to get a changing bag to put the player in while I'm doing this so it can't travel as far!
Now just listening to Stravinsky's The Firebird Suite as I type this!

The Misses and Master

After Friday's more heavyweight piece I felt like sharing something else here.

Princess Natasha all in white making her way down the stairway. I had her for several years and is more the decorative sort of doll having a porcelain face

Morse sat on my chair. Although he's Scottish he doesn't drink Whiskey!

Jessica, as she'd just gotten up in the morning before I brushed her hair, living on the side of my chair in the front room from where I usually interact with y'all online.
I doesn't matter they and my other dolls and stuffies are clearly visible to my neighbours across the street as are my Wood's Cat teapots or if they come into the front room.
It's my space and I'm me.

More thoughts on 'little'

There were a number of things I felt like posting around today, some which may have go to other spaces I share but you know what, I feel like putting it them here any how.
The first thing I'm gonna talk about is what we mean by being a little as this from time to time causes issues depending sometimes where folks arrived from and how wide your knowledge and involvement in that community is.
If anyone expect a single universal definition, sorry there's not one as some like to slice and dice everything up often to match a subcultures take.
My start point is it's about you as an individual first and foremost starting from how you see yourself as you navigate your way from upper juniors and through your teens to approaching what the law defines as 'adulthood'.
The majority of children going through what is called 'growing up' have what is best called an emotional  age that is within the average or norm for children within their year which means at a practical level they can both be educated broadly the same level while being able to play and socialize within that peer group feeling neither to young or too old as equals, free from inappropriate behaviour.
If that was you, you'd be content  being yourself, sharing the same interests as your peers but for anyone that isn't you start to find toward your mid teens your being left out, staying the same emotional age having no interest in maybe or even getting anything from what interests your peers.
In effect you are  in very real way emotionally much younger than your chronological years that brings with it both ostracization  and vulnerbilities that others are only too willing to exploit.
I first became aware of this  around the ages of nine and ten finding my peers had outgrown me with it increasing several fold by my mid teens to the point I had to be protected at school from unsolicited and misunderstood attention from my peers.
Had it of been in this decade, rather than trying to find things in the reference library I'd of no doubt of been looking stuff up online on various sites and that simply cos nothing was around in what was supposed to had been a safe space for me never mind having spaces I could just share the interests I did have.
I don't believe in the intervening years a mid to late teen child  who is that way is that much more different although the internet itself brings risks to your doorstop, something which is of real concern to those over 18 who find them 'reaching out'. In a very real way those teens need their own adult free space until they are of age and some solid professional guidance of the sort some of us back in the day didn't have.
Those of us who are over 18 obviously started from somewhere and instead of concerns about our school friends, it's more about employers, fellow students and what anyone you may be in a relationship with as to how much of that side of they can take as well as the adult sexual side.
How that little side comes out does vary and one point I want to get across here is unlike the image you may encounter online it is not and does not have to be all about diapers, sippy cups, all in one romper type suits and pacifers although if that's you, terrific and as those of ya who have actually seen me over here know, I don't mind in the slightest.
You can be dressy, tom boyish, play school if you like (it's fun, trust me!) spend the hours colouring, watching Sofia The First or play snap, whatever makes you feel comfortable really cos it's just that-being in emotionally comfortable space, free from groan up worries and concerns.
To me that's what we have and had as Littles even if you have moved into relationships where that's accepted and anything 'adult' is understood and consented to.
It's what makes being a little transcending of any other label regardless of if you're more ab/dl, dd/lg  or 'furry' centric.
 
 

Classical music round up 2015 Part III (The English are a comin')

While exploring more classical music music when it comes to English music there's more than Elgar and Walton.Finzi is best known as a choral composer, but also wrote in other genres. Large-scale compositions by Finzi include the cantata Dies natalis for solo voice and string orchestra, and his concertos for cello and clarinet.

I recently bought these two discs from him a  near contemporary of Delius of his woodwind works  to explore at leisure. He was born on July 14 1901 and died September 27 1956.

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Wonderland

Sunny start to the day here as Marmalade has come in for his toast who smell is invading the front room, hope it doesn't burn(!) as I'll be out for part of the day enjoying the weather.

For all of the fans of this

 

And that's an awful lot of us,eh, Alice, one place I stopped by last Saturday was here.

You can follow the Alice trail across Llandudno which is an awful lot of fun as is the dress.

Day out to the Seaside

I went out on Saturday with Grumpy to the seaside departing from our Estate on one of two coaches organized by locals where we travelled though our town to join the motorway network passing near Stanlow before joining the main A55 in North Wales, a semi-independent Country within the UK parking up at the coach park.
I left grumpy to his own devices after getting off going some people I knew helping me cross the road to get into  the middle of town as there wasn't  a crossing and I'm poor with road sense.

 You may not of noticed it but in the gardens, there is this amazing clock set in the ground that looks rather striking from this angle. In the background on the far left is the Cenotaph and along the front there was a flower display marking  the start of World War One.
I agreed to met grumpy at 12:15 to make our way to a restaurant for lunch as being a Saturday it sure gets busy so you'd better get your skates on.
We went to Tribelles which had been recently taken over and revamped where the service was excellent from being met to getting your food in good time.
I had a 9oz Cod with chips (anglicized fat fries) and peas to whom the batter completely covered the fish itself so you had a whole lotta fish which is just purrfect for a Catgirl like me and tea which was very well cooked with the fish being moist but not mushy.

 There were a number of events taking place out of doors, one being a display and collection for the Royal National Lifeboat Institute, a charitable organization that rescues folk at risk on the water and that was one of their lifeboats.
Also the Lions had a vintage motorcycle exhibit with many plushies and flags on the bikes one even had Crazy Frog with his googles!
I spent part of the afternoon watching the Punch and Judy show with the children, shouting and screaming along jumping up and down for good measure cos I love letting my more little side out while not reading my Beano Summer Special comic with my childhood heroes up to their usual tricks and playing on the beach.

Llandududno is one of a number of seaside resorts that has managed to retain its long jetties into the sea -a pier- and along of which are many shops and amusements one of which this not that you'll me in or consuming their products.

Jetties have their uses apart from launching boats on, fishing being one and here's a family group doing just that.

The coastline with the Haufre Gardens toward the top left with assorted Alice in Wonderland related things to be found.
Making our way back to the coach, I had a Mint Chocolate chip icecream locally made as in many parts of the UK there is an aggressive Seagull problem meaning sitting out on the seafront  with food you'll be attacked and possibly injured by said birds.

The return of the school girl

Hi.
This is the first entry of September because I took a few days of from blogging cos I was going to be away for a few days so needed to use my time differently.
The first thing was packing cos I had a new once piece travel case as the handle on my old travel attache case broke which took some getting used to was it has a short compartment at the front for things like my tickets and timetables, a middle compartment for things I need immediately on arrival and a generous core for other things with a total weight capacity of 2.5 kg together with wheels to drag it around.
That meant I only that had my hello kitty hand luggage carrying bag which I kept Katie Kitten in as she helps me deal with social anxiety, cellphone, outbound ticket ready for inspection and hello kitty purse.
As we had had heavy showers up here, I did have my Peter Storm waterproof jacket with me too.
Given I didn't need to be out early I caught a later local bus to join the service calling at the North-west Midlands leading rail hub to travel down my friends.
I had a few damp moments between connections but despite warnings about signalling issues on the train, that went very smoothly with the train being on time so having come in at the station in this part of South Staffordshire, I was met and walked to the parking lot just beyond the station before a short car journey to their home.
Upon arrival I changed to my middle uniform a black tunic with a zip having my hello kitty slipper socks on over my white 3/4 white socks with bows.
Over the period I did a lot of colouring  taking my new pencils as well as my Frozen colouring with me to work on as well Lucy one of my dollies to play with which probably says a about why I spend my time with and at littles meets here in the UK.
It's to be in (for me) middle headspace, just enjoying things more associated with actual middles without the sophistication's or concerns of groan ups during that period, just some point where I'm focussed on small things  and not like being preoccupied with news or adult interests.

So it was a welcomed surprise to be working sat at a traditional school desk and chair in uniform  doing my colouring, something that mentally took me back in time, feeling very much that child in class in view of groan ups. It's a feeling I feel very comfortable with, bring back many memories  from my past.
This is so much me.
We had a lovely chicken roast and home made plum pudding for our evening meal enjoying a sing song and quiz in the evening until it was time for me to sleep on the couch in front of the fire which I quite like anyway.  It's the feline in me!
I had a good nights sleep after about twenty minutes ready for the next day.
I got up sometime around 7:30 which is actually a bit later than normal for me, had a wash and got dressed in good time for everyone to be up drink and talk.
As is my want I did play at being a cat making the appropriate movements with my paws and meowing between colouring.
We had a cooked breakfast that was much appreciated before I left to join my train on the way home.
After Auntie Andi had dropped me off at the station, I caught the 13:20 that calls at our rail hub and as I was feeling tired I got a taxi off the rank straight home to cut out the waiting in very good time, directing my driver who was from Mid-Cheshire.
Thanks to Jennifer and Susan (no other name or Gah!) for their cooking and hospitality and Auntie Andi for giving me  a lift back to the rail station,