Spring means more now

So it's spring already, at least officially although the last week has been a good deal warmer than the start of February with the return of insects from winter hibernation buzzing about joining the many birds in an audio visual extravaganza.

Very much the weather to be be outdoors taking in some fresh air and sunshine while enjoying yourself which after everything we've been through in last near enough twelve months is needed I feel as we slowly start to get out this paused of all but the most basic life we've been living through.

It's not so surprising then to be at the point a few things can get better leaves me feeling happy, just ready for the moment I can be around people feeling their love, sharing a soft drink and a hug.

Happy St. David's Day!

Exploring together

I wasn't too good over the last two days although I got up okay, messaging PB and getting the last mammoth blog entry published with links at all the usual spots to make it easier to people to follow it. Shortly afterward I felt a migraine coming rather quickly so I quickly got my tablets out a jug full of water with glass, closed the curtains and went bed.

 It wouldn't be me in the midst of all that to be thinking of other things, I mean it's so funny but sometimes I'm more together when it comes to thinking ideas up when I'm  like that than any other time.
One is how many times we hear of people who do something a little outside of the mainstream such as follow a dress style and wear it, have aspects of our lives that others may not be so keen on such as your gender identity, sexuality and being a little and so on who struggle to have people they feel they can be open with as friends. And this in age of forums, emails and social media.
Sometimes it may be that the individual has difficulties forming and holding down personal relationships which may not be helped if others are way too quick to judge elementary mistakes but life if you appear not to be able to learn from them can be hard.
Sometimes groups have very much a "My way is the only highway" approach, setting very exacting positions people are at least to go along with if not openly endorse which at times is so ironical being in mind the reason for  existence of some groups is the very excludedness those people felt from others they project themselves.
To  me it seems in order to progress we need to be open to difference, able to tolerate difference and understand  the expression of differing views often leads to more informed thoughts and decisions.
If we find understanding something hard - and it genuinely can be -  we need to be prepared to  work with someone who will explain it and engage with them changing what we are doing if it isn't helping us.
We also need to learn to hold hands more with the people who can helps us explore and grow as people which may include learning more about some of things that unite us but may not be part of other peoples lives.
If you're a little/middle you need to find those spaces you can let this side of you out openly without the distractions of regular adult stuff going on.

A message from the past

Hi!

Something I am working through is the process of getting more in touch  more  with  my innerchild, her emotions and her past as recalled and expressed in her own emotional aged voice that can get buried in what may be more Big World problems.
I'm having fun engaging in child voiced play through which she expresses herself with other 'innerkids' doing the same just being themselves in their own world and exploring things.
Sometimes it's the past that holds the key to those things that continue to affect how you see things and shape your responses to given situations like the extent you feel you may trust another or feeling anxious socially.
And those things unless you deal with them run on into the present by with people directly involved in your life or wish to have at some future point too.
Getting to a point the past is better understood, the real lessons learnt being able to move on from those all too real road blocks is one of my main aims.
It's also clear from discussion elsewhere sometimes even your encounters as that little (or middle) at this point in your life may bring issues that may leave you sad or hurt emotionally by they feeling abandoned, receiving hurtful comments and the like that you may need to work through.

The return of play

This week something came to me in all this heat being out of doors for a bit of the time.
When was the last time you played in a public space?
I think it would of been about around age 13 and 2/3rds and in the process of reading a book around inner child rediscovery, the topic of when  and how the inner child got put away came up.


Here's a dialogue between mine and it's bigger self that follows the first one I printed a short while back.
Initials: LG - My younger side BG Big Girl/Adult side
BG: Hello again
LG Hi. You came back to see me?
BG: Yes.
LG: Why?
BG: It's been a short while since you and I made a pact. I need to know how you feel about it.
LG: When you said I could come out?
BG:Yes, that is it.
LG:I feel happy now. 
BG:That's good. Do you feel safe?
LG:I feel safer cos I know you will come and  protect me.
BG:I understand. You had a bad time in the past. Is there anything else you'd like to talk about?
LG: I want to run around and play outside. But I can't.
BG: You do? Why not?
LG: Before I got put away Mommy said too old for it.But I want to.
BG: Okay then, I say you go out and have a run around. Lot's of people run and there's no reason for you not to.
LG: You mean I can just run around?
BG: Yes but think about where, that's all. I'll help you with that.

On Sunday I run around a tree lined garden without a care in the world for the first time in ages in an area that was a bit secluded so I wouldn't feel too self consious but with plenty of light and near a sidewalk in case I needed help. It felt great