Duality of transgendered adult little girls

 

Posted for every biological female who would like to understand more about those of us who are transgendered little girls.

Every one happens to be different but for me least I have a inner little girl because when I was around four, that personality was already in me with her with her own likes, dislikes as well as a sense of gender identity so I knew all about her but, put quite simply, whenever she made an appearance she was told she was 'silly', she didn't exist for she lived in a boys body, whack!, whack!, whack! if you insisted otherwise.

Little Evie had this quote on her blog from a support group:

“Express Love and Support for Child’s Gender Expression: What does this look like? It means allowing them to choose, without pressure or unspoken messages, the clothes they wish to wear, how and with whom they play, their favorite toys, the accessories they favor, the manner in which they wear their hair, and the decorations and images with which they surround themselves.”
That's what at the core of it being a transgendered child you are denied: The right to your own self. It made me sad, lashing out, doing silly things hating every minute in a gender boot camp for something that could of been corrected just be allowing my own self out and the 'right uniform' for a girl like me.
As I explained before within the limits of that era, more opportunities existed at my other schools that I used to the max to be me.

At the risk of starting a fur fight, I feel the mainstream trans community isn't supportive of adult little girls regarding us as a embarrassing group of cross dressers failing to see actually a good number of us are no different to our cis sisters apart from the fact some of us aren't cross dressers as they define it.
There are some who find or are rediscovering the inner girl they never had much of a connection with much later on and this is one reason sometimes people assume the who process of being an adult little girl is more a case of making an inner girl identity you never had although this is not my personal point of view. Equally it is not as sometimes portrayed in the fetish world a matter of looking very much an ultrafeminine young girl but with some connection to sexual fetish activity down the line (there are those who'd say 'sissy' was a whole separate gender!) and seasoned readers know that's why I never use that term on this site.
My reason for being an adult little girl is essentially the same as that of a 'cis' or biological female, the enjoyment of the innocence of being little in it's many forms with for me a some connection to having though my disabilities a more child like mindset that finds it hard to be never mind function at a more overtly adult level although I am responsible in what I do and accept the law expects me to show it as necessary.

I feel pretty much the same as  a few others I know.

I'd rather be having little adventures playing with other girls as good as I am at keeping myself amused plus with me because outside of some hobbies, I just don't relate to groan ups and groan up life at all. It may be fine for some but let's say it's just not Joanne, it bores me to the extent I even understand it. I'm only a teen for crying out loud!

Fall evening stroll:
Two girls in the park look at each from a distance,staring they see elements of themselves in each other. They walk toward each other. The trans girl stands before the cis girl in awe. The cis one links arms with her starting to talk with her. The trans girl is brave answering every question her friend asks about her past truthfully, trusting her. Both girls walk off arms linked, each accepting each other as friends and fellow girls in it all together supporting equal opportunities for all.

Sometimes in the trans community, we have people who see things as 'versus' everytime with cis feminists Vs trans activists, crossdressers Vs transexuals and so on yet in my experience in the  world of littles we seldom have this problem in getting along no matter where we are coming from.

"Fall evening stroll" is my offering to the many biological adult little girls for what they have done not just for me personally but for all adult little girls. We need each other. Let's lay down our arms and  past baggage and play together.

In honour of Little Evie

I suppose I am many things to a good number of you and as you know I do not hold myself so in awe of myself that I have the kind of vanity that to want to know what that might be but  I'm a little reserved both online and as well as in real life.
I don't jump in two feet first shall we say! But today I shall having finished reading Elizabeth's adventures in the Naughtiest Girl series remaining in my little girl school uniform all day for the same reasons she would.

This fine person joined GT recently being as I understand it friendly with Priss and something about her immediately caught my attention.
The first thing I'll say about Little Evie  is (as much as I  dislike drawing distinctions) is she is an adult little girl  who has a beginning as a biological female, something that is remains more a minority in the alg world although I'm personally aware of a few and am extremely grateful for one.
While I'm very aware of the negatives  as well as the positives of the Internet to the point I won't post a persons job title, employer etc here, she works with children which is super awesome in my book  as I don't so much work with them myself as they come at times with those I do, both of us get to spend time with children doing stuff like playing. Having an personal insight to how a child sees the World is a jolly useful thing that I used as a School Governor.
The third thing and the reason why I absolutely had to - having an Elizabeth impulsive moment-  jump in with two feet is she did something I thought was very brave.
She came out to her colleagues as a little and what is more they were supportive of her.
How many of us hand on heart could actually be in a groan up staff area and just do this?
I'm extremely fortunate my colleagues do know and so long as it doesn't get in the way of what I do are cool with it. I've had situations where I have been supported  by people outside of the alg world when people have tried to bring a "shock horror she's a little" drama in other organizations life.
It takes courage to do what she did, the same kind of courage Elizabeth found in the stories, that also I had to find for myself to be as I am.
That is why I'd like to say her site is listed here,  hope all the GT people will welcome her and  say I will do whatever I can to support her in  all the things she knows she needs to get fixed to fully enjoy life as an alg.

Love, Joanne.

Elizabeth in Joanne?

This post has be coming to me this morning where I'm poorly laying across my Hello Kitty bed attire and new Duvet in my school uniform, so do bear with me.
Off and on, I've made reference to the books I read during my chronological childhood some of which I owned, some borrowed off friends or via the library of the boarding school I attended.
Indeed you may of spotted a few entries here about books by Enid Blyton that come in that category and how I've gotten new copies not least the second but last entry around St Clare's that with this rotten cold I'm reading, something that is a direct echo of my childhood in times when I read books in my dorm or the sick bay.
I recently got though a most interesting addition again an older edition with original illustrations that has taken me back with some startling observations.
With the final three in one volume of St Clare's (Back to St Clare's) was another three in one book.

This was a 1992 edition of first three The Naughtiest Girl stories (Naughtiest girl again, Naughtiest girl is a monitor and Naughtiest girl in the school)

The stories are set in Whyteleafe, a progressive co-ed boarding school that some feel has a striking resemblance to Summerhill school in Suffolk, England.
The main character is Elizabeth who you could say is a very spoilt child used to getting her own way often running with unchallenged ideas so much so she resolves to behave so badly she can't avoid being expelled from the school she never wanted to go to. The secondary character is her best friend, Joan Townsend, who tries to get her to behave which by the time Elizabeth realizes how lonesome she was as a only girl, she gets more onside with the other children and  is less of a problem to the staff.
Here's an earlier cover from one of the separate books:

Now the first think upon quickly skimming the book was I saw my reflection in in how she dressed in the original illustrations, not least the fully pleated skirt, the modern version of which I'm actually wearing. She's around nine or ten years of age so the first thing I am thinking is, *Something* around this age is lodged in me as I'm not a senior. The second  is that smile as she's doing thinks like flirting ink about - it comes to me that around this age I did some similar things with ink and it's her awkwardness is causing this lashing out as oddly enough it did for me.

E.A stood there on the left of this original illustration is the image of that era of my life, meeting together with satchel, sports kit and naturally full uniform.
One interesting aspect of the Whyteleafe school is that the children have meetings where they dole out pocket money (everyone has a certain minimum  because it is pooled and the case for more has to be accepted by the others first) and also they deal with infractions dishing out punishments which the Monitors have the power to as Elizabeth is reminded of when she acted silly.
In practise, in my school head boys and girls also did although it wasn't formally set up - effectively they stepped in and if didn't accept whatever the outcome was, it was reported to the staff.
On one  particular day I did do something really silly like get going calling one girl rotten names and it got a bit out of hand, as does some of Elizabeth's silly things but unlike it being raised at a Meeting I was called to see the Headgirl in private who wanted answers, insisted on an apology to the girl in question and used her hairbrush on me (which was as far as I was concerned better than some poxy letter from the Head to my folks who'd just send me to child welfare person dragging the whole thing out. At least it's all over with in one go.).
Like Elizabeth I got better after that as I learned to fit in better with people, having my rough edges smoothed and even became a year rep, greeting very important people which does help when as now I have to do groan up things.
Having this book has reminded me of the distance I've travelled emotionally, the difficulties I've overcome in the past through learning to be more mature in how I deal with situations. As well, it affirms what Joanne remains deep down - a little girl only just in double digits - and no one least of me should ever forget it.

More cat madness!

There will be two posts today, the first is this ,about  a Hello Kitty grey long sleeved top I bought recently as went enter the fall it gets a bit cooler so long arms are appreciated.
It is an actual children's top  cos I'm small enough to fit a UK age 14 for added authenticity and looks really cute although with a base colour of grey it'll go with a lot of things I own.

Back to St Clares!

Apologies for the brevity of this weeks edition but I'm unwell with seems to be a bad cold but never fear Joanne always comes up with something.You can thank her boarding school for that!
Picking up with the themes of returning to school where I've been trying last week to get to grips with times tables, the little adventure dayout and so on, I decided to take stock of my small book collection.
Actually it came to me last night, there were two reasons why some of the first books I bought at the end of my formal education were more like textbooks, first first being my problems in reading meant something more simplified like a study aid was easier to follow and the other was - wait for it - an early indication that really I wanted my childhood back by having some of the books I had or read at the time with me.
Anyway, I found a few books that I never read much because as good as they are (some won literary awards), they're too far above my reading age meaning I struggle to really follow them so I'm replacing them.
Why replace them rather than just give them away? Simply I realize that reading is something I need to do to improve within my own learning disabilities restrictions, my ability to read, follow and understand stories.
What I decided to do was to get the older two book collections of the original 6 story edition of St Clare's by Enid Blyton because it's a  bit more wordy than some of her other stuff so it gives me a bit of a word workout (I can look up the words in my new Dictionary and learn their meanings) and a school, based adventure story is the kind of thing I love to read (which helps keeping the interest up).
They were issued several years back with new computerized art covers however I feel they just don't look right and also Pamela Cox ghost wrote three new stories for that series that aren't really essential.
These are my 'new to me' editions:

This edition has the first three books in a single  volume namely The Twins at St Clare's, The O'Sullivan Twins and Summer term at St Clare's, written between 1941 through 1943 although many more memorable characters such as Claudine, a mischievious French girl and feather-headed Alison also feature in a world of tricks and jokes, midnight feasts, sports matches, thrilling rescues, fun and friendship as well as hard work, exams and snobbery!

The final volume has Second term at St Clare's, Claudine at St Clare's plus Fifth formers at St Clare's written between 1944 and 1945. I remember the fifth form vividly!
It's a bit odd for missing out completely the third form  but perhaps everyone leapfrogged it?
The school predates Malory Towers and is seen by parents as being  a "very sensible sort of school one  not to pander to children who feel their above everyone else.
The school Headmistress Miss Theobald is a believer  in the idea people get out of life what they put into it, telling her pupils: "Do your best for us and St. Clare's will be able to do its best for you!  Oddly enough that was what my Head teacher said too!
These editions came out in 1993 but with the artwork still looking a bit more in keeping with the period they written and the stories themselves still hold up. Indeed many 9 through 11 year readers today have written glowing reviews as have parents whose children having gone though today's supernatural based stories were given these only to find their offspring can't get enough of them.

Joanne takes a break

Well I did promise you a new entry a few days ago and being the kinda of "that girls so contentious" person I am, here it is.
Yesterday I went to the seaside on a coach not being a car driver.
Most of the people on the coach were groan ups who looked very groan up but me being a little said "Naw, I'm a little"  so went in my red school sweatshirt, grey shorts, the most cutest cat socks you could imagine with a pretty pink bow and regular unisex brogue style children's shoes. In addition I had my Hello Kitty childrens' flight and tote bag!!!
We set off travelling south through Jennifer's beloved Staffordshire Black Country (Btw it's more green than you'd think) that,being subject to long delays around Walsall and Bescot we had good views of. There were further delays on the M5 just south of Birmingham as far as Worcester North but the run through Bristol passing the bridge with good views across to South Wales was much easier.
When we arrived in Weston Super Mare, although I had been snacking on Barley sugars and chocolate finger biscuits - too bad they didn't have any animal shaped ones in - I was hungry so I called in at the Dragon Inn, a Weatherspoons public house that does food.
The food was nice , I had a Steak and Kidney pie and the manager was really funny!

Having eaten I felt like going on a bit of a walk around as I've never been here before and I'd have to say everywhere was super clean with litter pickers active during the day.

Some people don't realize the danger encouraging Seagulls with food can cause especially if you're a child having a picnic with your family.

The beach was cleaner than a good number in North Wales I could think of with finely grained sand.
There is one automatic response when I see a beach and it involves a bucket and spade so guesses for what happened next! Also the next response is something like getting a Pirates flag and waving it around while jumping up and down. Nobody I was with said anything!

Seaside towns often have amusement arcades, something the bigger side of me isn't too keen on but who couldn't resist the chance to win your very own Hello Kitty plushie? Well I sure couldn't.

The Pier was burnt down a few years ago but a great job was done of rebuilding it with associated facilities for that whole strolling along the pier experience. For an out of season weekday, it sure was busy.

Finally I had to be super careful not to get in the way of this the Great Western Land Train  that runs to the Harbour and back along the sidewalk. I think the Great Western was train company that operated in the South West of England before nationalization (and privatization in the 1990's).
The return back was much smoother stooping at Frankley services south Birmingham to freshen up

Dear reader

Hi peoples.
I woke up with this idea for a post cos the next scheduled one would be a in a few days time but before I went to bed with Theodore, I noticed something here at The World of Joanne_chan I want to talk about.
The first thing is while I've been doing my Math schoolwork this week, we have had a grand total of 18,814 views since the blog was started and in the last month 2,014 which is a lot of views.
I also noticed we gained two new followers, which is always nice so Croeso to Kitsune and welcome to Clare.
People have many reasons for writing a blog, some being very much with the authors own needs such as making a dairy of their lives, interests and important events getting a great deal of satisfaction in reviewing them as time flies.
Well, that's partially true for me but another reason for writing a blog is to better inform people about some interest or aspect of your life because many do not understand it or worse still think they do on the basis of sensational stories in magazines and the popular press.
 For me, it is that I wish people who encounter this blog randomly, to understand what being an adult little girl is about, like it's not  seedy, a dirty little secret, a threat to society or worse still Children's welfare.
It's an very important part of a everyday responsible life that you're engaged with that is stacked with childlike innocence, fun and a refreshing spontaneity. We also have mainstream hobbies and  a sense of humour!
As well,  many of us contribute in different ways to making lives better for others by solving scientific problems, making things people like or helping people navigate complex personal needs.
That's why having people stop over at this blog as well as other peoples too is important because it helps to break down these erroneous preconceptions so having good viewing figures matter to get the word out.
Thank you dear reader for stopping by today and if you haven't already please either spread the word about this blog or consider following it.

Joanne returns to school

Well I did leave a bit of a hint a few weeks back but I will be undertaking a bit of learning this term brushing up on my numeracy, penwomanship and English as for one thing I'm a litle rusty part from my dyslexia, dyspraxia and other learning disabilities I'm not too good at this stuff.Really I'm not.
I'll be doing some UK KS1/2 worksheets as appropriate to my needs each week sat at a desk suitably dressed which no doubt Jennifer would wholeheartedly approve off although sadly I won't have a Games Mistress. The rotters!!!   Playtime will happen though.
But that means I need some new tools as my tools well, there a bit old really dating from the last time I set foot in a classroom.

That's right Jennie, a circa 1977 Commodore 796M LED calculator that if you knew how you could spell words on it! I'll be getting a newer one with pink keys but in the mean time this laptop has one although I'll be only using that to check the answers with cos I really need to bring my mental arithmetic aka Math up to scratch.
Spelling as well as picking the best words for something in English isn't my strong point and you see, if your dyslexic like me, a spellchecker only gets you so far plus it often suggests world you weren't thinking of so I'm going to have to learn new words by rote and learn to use a dictionary from now on.

Well that's my old very battered one the girl immediately under the Head Girl at my boarding school gave me back in the day but apart from the seams going, English has gained quite a few new words over the years as well as some old words having newer, more current meanings that I don't understand.

Well Hello Kitty can help me learn as she's made this new version that's easier to follow and as well as having some tips on how to use words better which I'll be using.
Dyspraxia means in simple terms I have difficult making and co-ordinating small movements such as those you use to draw and critically write. It's a pain!
My handwriting  has never been good and for a period stopped completely following the industrial injury that further messed my life up (in some ways at least, in others it bought the inner kid to the fore).

I'll be following the exercises Hello Kitty uses to practise my letter drawing together with forming the shapes that make the top and bottom of letters which is something I'm really really bad at.
Sometimes even in this electronic age we need to write things and many people appreciate a hand written letter, postcard or birthday greetings card so being able to make a good job of it will be a help to me.