I
have written a bit about the history of my little side, how that
connects with how you are recorded as being one gender but feel you
actually are of another and how that connects to your life as mapped
by gender ridden institutions, so for me my start point on being a
little and specifically the schoolgirl side starts from there.
This entry, the third in this series, is part background capsule and part update of the originals from 2011.
That
uniform has a strong emotional resonance to me as something I
desperately wanted to own, take care of and have to wear as that girl
I felt so while part of my female exploration centred around the more
adult big girl, this whole schoolgirl side which had never really
gone away also was a part of it. It did rather confuse me at the time
having two different ideas of how I was that female and also some on
the big girl side seemed to have issues with even feeling this way.
Although the term and indeed concept of 'age-play' wasn't one I was familiar with at the time (sometimes it seems I'm playing catch up with things like that), in hindsight that's where the concept of being in a past point in time, role playing a child seems to have taken hold.
So
it was around a period of major profession related stress that I
started off with experimenting with netball skirts and tops, the
whole girly sporty thing in part cos girls sports were what I loved
to play, when I was able to talk around folks into letting me be on
the team and that I wanted to play in traditional girls sports kit.
I
just found the whole experienced dressed as such such a great
relaxation not least for feeling I was being a part of the denied me
that it was not long before I started looking more into the regular
daytime schoolgirl look.
One
start point into that was more adult dark goth dresses not least the
pinafore type which I wore for a period before encountering online
communities of adult little girls and what you might call
recreational school based role playing sites and establishments
looking more at the latter to try and understand more of the whole
role and structure of uniform and what those who had gotten more into
that got from it.
Encountering
them lead me more into looking into full replica uniforms, that's to
say the tops, outer garments such as skirts, socks and smalls that
were and in some schools still the prescribed 'you have to wear' brands.
Traditionally one would have worn Pelerine long socks with such a uniform and at one point that was rather more what I was thinking of getting.
Often they had eyelet patterns that used to fascinate me.
Traditionally one would have worn Pelerine long socks with such a uniform and at one point that was rather more what I was thinking of getting.
Often they had eyelet patterns that used to fascinate me.
It
also lead to an examination in my mind of what sort of age range the
schoolgirl I wished to present as was so seeing I felt more middlish
-around the ages of 9-12 than the high school sort this lead me to
something like UK Juniors uniform comprising of red sweatshirt, grey
pleated skirt, white or grey socks with plain t shirt and regulation
school smalls and a blue pleated zip fastening games skirt.
This is more documented with pictures in the previous Joanne's Uniforms posts.
When it came to deciding what to do about the subject of the socks as this uniform is something I wear most days, I made one concession to current trends which was to get and wear these
They're the more modern replacement so while they're not replica uniform to what my real life peers had at the time they no doubt what I be wearing today in the same setting.
This is more documented with pictures in the previous Joanne's Uniforms posts.
When it came to deciding what to do about the subject of the socks as this uniform is something I wear most days, I made one concession to current trends which was to get and wear these
They're the more modern replacement so while they're not replica uniform to what my real life peers had at the time they no doubt what I be wearing today in the same setting.
It's
in this uniform as a schoolgirl, I've been out with littles/middles
enjoying real life interactions being and playing that schoolgirl I
always wanted to be finding life much much more enjoyable.
A
few days ago spurred on by a local charity, I went through my
wardrobe and noticed those early items that lead to being that
uniformed schoolgirl, some that don't quite fit, all seldom worn
today and they are to go.
As
I have written about on few entries here, the idea around having
actual schoolgirl daytime dresses has been with me for a long time
and as those Goth variants were to go together with a few other
things it was time to decide what to do about it.
Because
I so wish to wear an actual schoolgirl pinafore as uniform, I decided
to get myself two, one grey and one black to replace them with
together with a black pleated elasticated skirt.
Looking
back on this whole adventure from over a decade ago, you can say I
became the schoolgirl increasingly in her pinafore, being the little
I really am. The tide has turned.
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