Comics of my youth

We read these comics whenever it rained in our junior school and we were unable to play as they were kept in a big cardboard box and shared at recess.

Here's another long gone we read:

That one's more of a boys comic but it didn't matter that much when you couldn't play out back then.

Reading up on the past

One of my stronger memories of my official childhood is reading, not that I was what you might call a good reader but we did have a fair number of books in the house and stored in a big wooden toy box were some of mine, usually those my Mom thought I'd outgrown.
A good example of which is this one which was really a book for seven to ten year olds that stayed in that box well into my mid teens.

It's a series of two short stories of a group of young children called Benji, Jack and Jane plus dog who have to move together with their parents and their adventures through play with other children and grown ups.
Its very innocence, the clear lessons shown about appropriate behaviour such as owning up if you do something and clear consequences for wrong doing are woven into a fun set of adventures.
It was really that I before I knew the terms I was looking for even in my mid teens as what I now know as regression was even then a part of what made me different than most of my peers not least in my own mind I WAS that younger child.
 It was why I kept the books and puppets from that era.

What I so missed

 

Continuing on a little from last week, it wasn't just the personal distress I felt from not being allowed to be myself, the restrictions on what you could do because how others saw your gender, how you felt being made to dress in ways that just were not how you saw yourself it really cut into socializing.

Not being seen as and treated as "one of the girls" meant you didn't get to join in their games at home as well as school.

You didn't get to join in things like Girl Guides, fancy dress parties so you were isolated from the influences you needed to be a confident assured girl.

All I wanted to able to do at the time was attend school in a lovely pinafore dress looking pretty and being a part of their world which is where I truly belonged.

I can dress like that today, which is fantastic but it's not the same as being that girl school week after week as that child.

And that's sad.

The little me

 

Ten is a funny age as some of look a bit bigger and grown up, almost passing for high school and yet others of us haven't put on a growth spurt so when it comes to some of our features like our faces we look more eight and a bit.

I loved ten cos not only was I still a 'little girl', I was under no pressure to try to be a 'big girl' of twelve from anyone which was fine as in some respects it was becoming apparent I wasn't really that mature as some of my peers and being handled a bit younger was better.

At least at ten you do a bit of slack even if rightly we have to show some maturity and my headmaster had moved me on a bit towards where the others were.

It wasn't that I didn't feel a bit different for having the likes and different needs than most of the children which in school officially I was lumped in with but most of time we just played so together we found a way of accommodating it which given just how binary the playground was with the girls not wanting you either was as well.

In any event I felt more able to be me with my girl-like ways unlike those today who may go on to transition as women so it wasn't wanting to be a girl back then so much as having spaces to express the whole me as this girl.

My only regrets were not having the freedom to dress as I felt comfortable as and play the sports I preferred.

Top Cat

One of my childhood favourite tv shows was Top Cat being heavily influenced by Sgt Bilko with a lot of stuff under the cute sharply observed characters of Benny the Ball, TC himself the gang leader, Choo Choo, Brains and co always scheming in trouble with Officer Dibble.

The action was always centred around the red Police phone box that Top Cat would use lacking any other means, often being caught in the act by Dibble.
TC and the gang could easily run rings around him!!!

On Middles and Littles

 Seeing this blog is experiencing an increasing number of people reading it and a number of people do tend to ask questions at sites, leave comments  or messages I thought I would devote a new entry around what being a Middle is about.

First off, when we're talking about Middles as with Littles were emphatically not talking about what society at large calls children, those whose age from date of birth makes them a Minor and so both precludes them Adult responsibility and protects them by making illegal and providing recourse from any Adult who takes advantage of them in areas such as employment but more critically from sexual exploitation.

We ARE talking about legal adults who have in common the same sort of headspace as children but are both able to consent to Adult matters and do have under the law and societal custom, legal and social rights and responsibilities so are employed or study, are expected to 'pay their way' and face Adult accountability such as losing a job due to conduct or being sent to prison.

In general terms Littles and Middles notwithstanding what they need to do studying or at work, pursue hobbies and interests that  are routed very much in their own experiences in 'childhood'  coming from their 'Inner Child' often with the same intensity and passion that you'd think it was that' child' playing.

Sometimes you may play, draw or maybe colour by yourself or you may meet with others who share the same sense of being 'forever a child' in that sense be it around peoples own homes or by meeting up at venues which are often discrete as unfortunately sometimes families and employers getting completely the wrong idea either disown you or find some reason to fire you not least in some 'sensitive' posts and that's before we bring in the Tabloid press.

For some it begins and ends with just 'the play' for others it may extend into dressing more like the age of the 'child within' while do so with say dresses that wouldn't be far removed  from that of a young girl at a party or play clothes like dungarees or for some of us school wear (and in the UK at least school wear is very much associated with childhood in the form of formal uniforms).

Definitions isn't a game I play lightly not least as often people disagree over exactly where the lines are and my personal feelings are they do have a crossover point if one accepts that the 'classic' little girl is a year older than UK Infant starting age, that's to say around Six then while Juniors ends at 11 or 12 which is the absolute cut off, in practise at around10 plus the gap widens when it comes to the type of play, increasingly sophisticated interests and language so marking the Middle out from his/her peers and continues on to around 13/14 when they become teens moving into be more 'adult-like' and seen as Older Children which we associate more with high school as move toward further education or employment (We lack an fully accepted term  in the wider world  of 'adult littles' for that 14 1/2 thru 17 headspace with some pushing Middle up to 17).

Getting back that 'child within' then if he or she comes out more in tune with Tweens or young Teens then personally I'd say the were an Adult (cos the law says so) Middle even if for some reason they still had a more classic little side which for I do, not least due to multiple disabilities some which do lead to learning and developmental ones.

That is why I identify as a Middle rather as a Little which doesn't mean I can't join in and play with littles at all it's that simpler there are other interest that aren't normally in there while we do share a need for oversight in our lives.

Angelic Layer & My Neighbour Totoro

I recently picked up this the discounted 7 DVD set by MVM of the CLAMP anime Angelic Layer

Angelic Layer is about a small town girl called Misaki Suzuhara that travels to Tokyo to live with her Aunt. However on arrival the 12 year old Misaki discovers a new game, which the player controls high tech dolls with their minds to battle each other. She quickly makes friends with other kids that are also enjoy playing Angelic Layer.

Angelic layer is based on the Manga series made by CLAMP (the all girl makers of Chobits) and the Animation is from BONES the same studio that animated Rah-Xephon.

The story is great, I was really excited about when it was first introduced in the Chobits. The DVDs contains 4 episodes each and as always ADV has shoved some extras in also.

Hikaru, Misaki's doll from the CLAMP anime Angelic Layer.
Note the very determined to win face.

I recently bought this DVD in the acclaimed Studio Ghilbi Collection.

This full length anime is conceived as a family film devoid of conflict and suffused with the carefree pleasures of the summertime, My Neighbour Totoro sees Hayao Miyazaki create a parable of friendship and imagination populated with unforgettable characters.

The storyline revolves around Satsuki and her little sister Mei (voiced in English by Dakota Fanning and Elle Fanning) get away from it all while their mother recovers from an illness in an idyllic rural retreat. Far from the bustle of the city, they discover a mysterious place of spirits and magic, and the friendship of the Totoro woodland creatures.