Looking inside [Pre-blog]

My parents bought me a book today that I wasn't really expecting off of them not least the the subject matter.
You see we have this issue going back about a decade and a bit about therapy where they say I need it but then reject what the therapist who has a whole string of qualifications and experiences has to say.
I think in a round about way they're trying say I need to get certain issues sorted and it's true I feel very much still a child and my behaviour is pretty much the same, magical thinking, switching off or just getting defiant so they feel putting it in 'safe' cartoon not only might be easier to understand but easier for me to accept.

Lingerie time [Pre-blog]

I was busy working today and had some time to kill before I left for home.
This thing has been bugging me for decades certainly past being 12 and it's why for all my gender issues and the rubbish I've endured, have I never actually gone out and bought myself lingerie? Is it that I'm just too embarrassed to be seen looking through the displays and to be holding them at the sales counter, like if someone I know just happens to see me?
Darn it, I want to know so today I actually and deliberately walked into a high street lingerie store and with the aid of the female assistants bought myself several pretty pairs with bows on, nothing really hot, just regular pretty to wear under my slacks while I'm in vanillaville.
The funny thing was I didn't phaze the staff out and and they made me feel comfortable during the whole time.

Exercise [Pre-blog]

Today I came back from being out with my family but they'd no idea what I had in a bag cos I carefully dodged bumping into them in the store. It was a  proper blue WRNS A line hard wearing pleated P T skirt to wear instead of shorts that had been my to go clothing of choice for a fair time but I feel like a change now and as my folks are out more I can do this.

Observations [Pre-blog]

It's another year and I'm at another place where a couple of colleagues have noticed something, namely I'm wearing children's clothing such as branded  t shirts and the like. It's not that they're picking on for it  but they do know cos they know the store where I get it from and while I can rationalize it by saying it's the right size for me which is true as I have child's figure still and adult clothes just don't hang right on me with the proportions all wrong, it's also true I feel more like a kids still, something I've felt like for eons now as all my peers feel older and grown up.

Christmas 1987 [Pre-blog]

This Christmas I had this compilation of Paul McCartney's singles both with Wings and solo featuring Once Upon A Long Ago his new single that includes things like the We All Stand Together single not on lp and hits from 1971 through 1984. It holds over 73 minutes of music on a single disc.

This is the new ABC album that has a more soulful feel including the current hit When Smokey Sings and three remixes on this the cd version.

Finally this fun yearbook by my favourite music magazine, Smash Hits with all manner of stuff about the Stars..

Exploring gender [Pre-blog]

Earlier this month I write to the Beaumont Society to find out more what a transsexual is and how people that are deal with it, living their lives. The information pack I received is mind blowing outlining what the difference between cross-dressing and becoming the gender opposite to that on your birth certificate is, what hoops you need to go through to be considered for transitioning as it appears you have to do a trial period before getting the full go ahead as well as mundane stuff like how to change your name and dealing with unwanted body and facial hair.
It's rather obvious having read this several times that actually I'm trangendered, something that before I knew this word, I'd rather suspected.

Christmas 1986 [Pre-blog]

This Christmas saw a few things I liked in my Christmas stocking

Queen: A Night At The Opera

Queen: A Day At The Races
Since A Kind Of Magic came out earlier in the year I've been more interested in this group and enjoyed the televised Hungarian Concert on ITV with stereo sound via the IRL radio network.
These were a couple of recent compact disc re-issues of albums I recall from my childhood but whose old eight track tapes were long gone from my music collection.

And the annual that's not really one by my favourite magazine as I still love reading them.