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There I was on Saturday having sat out in the sun thinking about working on this weeks entry and actually it dawned on me that actually something pretty special was approaching and really that's what we need to mark.

See this blog goes back a pretty long time to the days of scribbled notes of what I thought was note worthy at the time, a blogging facility of sorts at an early social media site where I learned at the sharp end blogging and then as the all powerful FaceBook took over it all got put into here or at least the more Smol side of life.

It saw me move from a big Tower Unit with separate monitor and keyboard to a Chromebook for more portable working and from dial up internet through the most slowest, unreliable broadband together to Fibre to the cabinet with a pretty decent speed even with the built in Wifi.

This place is very much a place of and for an eternal child that mixes in some interests that are also associated with grown ups although I had them in my early teens with other things that are very much child-like.

There was point where some as is not uncommon try to push you away from at least being seen to be like that, taking away things on the presumption erroneously you had outgrown them and to play act a older child or even an adult instead for their benefit and certainly not yours.

Overtime much of that has gone away cos it couldn't be sustained, cracks would appear in that pavement and so we are more at one with a life that is more like a younger teen with the same interests, hobbies and such like that might take in say a wildlife documentary as much as So Awkward and Dangermouse in much the same way a twelve year old me in the past saw Jacques Cousteau, Jackanory and Rhubarb and Custard.

It also was a world that saw comic and their annuals mixed in with classical music as much as The Hobbit with Joke books. It was also a world that I'd sooner be a schoolgirl from the past rather than some "young lady".

It's why it's the eclectic sometimes electric mix that it is.  

Happy Birthday "The World of Joanne Chan"!

Girls in charge!

As I write this I've just come in soaking wet drying the lower half of my body off with a towel after what was supposed to had been a short brisk walk in a light shower turned out to be a torrential downpour.

One reason for doing this apart from finding going out helps with my anxiety and related issues is if I don't move at all much, I soon become stiff to the point I'd struggle to get out of the chair.

When it's like this is normally in time honoured style I'd read comics and more girlhood based story books just to escape the confines mentally of four walls and instead place myself in adventure or school based story as that young girl following the plot an laughing out loud at the antics.

One thing I often fantasized over when I was between ten and thirteen was what it would be like if a girl had to step up to be the school mistress or perhaps a teacher and what being in such a setting would be like.

Would they be as the expression goes "as hard as nails" for knowing everything we'd all get up to which was something a few of us forget at a training place when a former trainee took a job there or would it be "all girls together".

The closest we got to it was when the Head Girl took the register for a short period and a teacher having set us some work to do, she would supervise us.

It was and remains an intriguing concept.

Working on the special interests

It's the weekend so there's a few things to be getting done here like checking through some of my discs as I reduce their storage requirements by using smaller form storage systems cos I've some of these since the mid 1980's.

Some do have the odd mark on them, even from new in the days stored the cases and discs separately and usually they'll play fine but thicker radial marks can cause skipping so I do play anything that falls in that category.

So today that means I have a few discs to check through and if needs be look for replacements, probably used given some are no longer on catalogue.

Music is generally a special interest of mine, always was from a young child which isn't untypical of autistic people although it must be remembered we are people not "the autistic" and do have variations.

This is a pretty good chart that shows how many traits can mean, you may be autistic even if may show in different ways and I have a good 85% of these.

Learning to feel good about your autism matters and being able to share a special interest can help.

Being

The more distance you can put between intrusive thoughts from the groan up world and you, the better I feel handling this sense of being forever a child gets because while some things cannot be helped like working if you are capable of it, the more we try to act more like what other people want us to be, the more sadder and frustrated we become.

That's because in effect we take on a 24/7 acting role trying to play a person who we are not just to please them or make them feel more comfortable at the expense of our own comfort and mental wellbeing.

Sometimes you need to climb up the ladder to the Tree House, just to let the real authentic you out without thinking all the time, "Oh gawd what will they think" as you're jumping up and down with your stuffie or being more concerned about how they see your presentation rather than respecting you own style and for some too your identities too.

Finding yourself takes time and people can and do make mistakes along the way, but the best thing for all of us is to respect people as they themselves are no matter the journey and where it took them too.

*With inspiration from "Shine" by Sammy.

 

The week away

This year we did actually get to have our Smol camp in The Lakes which was fitting as the last one we had was at the same location but weeks away from and the last time any of us saw the group tm together so things were different and obviously emotional.

That's why this entry is being done a little different apart from me being a bit jetlagged.

One of things we often do is assemble model kits of things such as Castles and this year we did Hogwart's, home of the best school ever and the setting for the Harry Potter novels and movies.

We also completed two jigsaws between us but I didn't get a picture of that as I was unwell for a day and bit which isn't untypical unfortunately.

There usually is a a themed competition and this years by Miss Green was the Fiftieth anniversary of Decimalization of the UK's currency from Pounds, Shillings and Pence (and a few other bits tossed in) to just Pounds and (new) Pence.

This was her display which took three weeks to put together with just above that samples of bank notes from the last century to today with our plastic coated five, ten, twenty and fifty pound notes with examples of aids and guidance for children, people in the service sector like shops and the then British Rail and adults and other promotional material.

There were examples of magazines such as the Radio Times, Practical Wireless and comics such as the Beano and Tiger from the week before and after decimalization showing the prices and how advertising in them had to use both for a period during the changeover.

Needless to say I and a friend didn't win after all I was brought up with units of ten with both decimal currency and metrication so never used it.

There was a Fairy Tea Party on Thursday for dollies and teddies to attend where we learned about Fairies and everyone was given a Fairy Neckless.

On the Tuesday people made fairy cakes and biscuits for it, decorating for good measure.

Wednesday was a Damp Squid tm. so we held a small outdoor games the day after it was planned where we did archery where we seemed to have more success in sending our arrows beyond the target one landing in a Fairy Card which wasn't very sporting.

There was an Egg and Spoon race as well as a water filling relay race with buckets to run with to see who got the most water in the container, not me as I got my socks a bit wet!

There was a target game and a beanbag relay event to see which team could run balancing a beanbag on their heads.

Here's some of the kit we used and the organizers clip board for recording the scores although to be honest it was all played for fun rather than deadly serious.

I did venture out for a stroll towards the shoreline although it soon turned rather wet and my camera needed drying out carefully, cleaning the built in zoom lens by hand when I got home which was fun itself between bad weather, road works and an incident that left three lanes closed for a period and half hour delays for us coming back

Thanks for everyone who helped whether or not you run an event, assisted with food, put stuff out and away and for just taking part.

Thanks to Suzy for organizing it in the most challenging of times we've ever had.