The gap

 It's the return to work week after the Christmas break so we talk about how Christmas went, thing like family gatherings, places you may of visited and presents.

I like my work a lot, I know I make a very really difference to the lives of those we see even if the way we do things has changed since I first joined and compared to many of them I am privileged.

No, what I find hard going is the social expectations of my colleagues because there is a critical difference between them and me which is they have more stereotypically adult interests and that shows in things like which of course people tend to get them presents connected with.

Now with me it's basically children's things like selection boxes, tv show annuals, stuffies and dollies to play with being very much a permanent child with only really music remotely groan up, and even that's more teen.

Thus when the conversation starts I'm sounding as if their little girl talking away but then as there is one a bit like me, I'm not totally isolated but we stand apart from all our peers.

That's the hardest thing about it all really.

More annuals

I've always loved having annuals for Christmas and Birthdays and was fortunate to have girls annuals rather than yukky boys ones

I also like horses so horse plus girlie fashion couldn't be better.

This was from 1973 which I remember well as being the year of Skylab, Britains joining the  Common Market and Princess Annes Wedding to captain Mark Phillips.

Xmas 2007

It wouldn't be a Christmas for me without my annuals so here's this years set for endless fun for me reading and doing the competitions in while the groan ups talk about stuff that really doesn't interest me.

And here's the other, The Dandy's that my Gran used to buy me copies of the regular comic of as a kid.

Desperate Dan is sat by his fire on the range singing folk songs with his horse.

 Because of my learning disabilities I find it hard to keep track of what I meant to do on days, when peoples birthdays are and so on so Mommy bought me this diary.

Sibling Xmas

Just thinking a bit about past Christmas during the build up as I attempt to get my presents organized  as I suddenly remembered one present my brother had during my childhood.
I think most of us had dress up sets such as Cowboy and Indian sets, Nurses and so on but as ever he just had to go that bit better so had something a bit like this.

Well back then things were quite so realistic so we didn't have the backpack but it was white apart from the silver trim around the neck and the chin area of the helmet with a thick acrylic visor.
I think he wore for a good couple of years if my a patchy memory is anything to go by when he played in the house as think he fancied himself as an Astronaut, following the reports on space missions and space Sci-Fi series such as Space 1999, Blacks 7 and so on.

Chores for Middles and littles

Today I thought I would give some thought to things a little or middle either in relationship or living with someone even on occasional basis can be encouraged to do for themselves

Own area
Making own bed
Getting clothes out for the next day
Hanging up own clothes neatly after wearing/washing
Making sure worn clothes are available for washing
Keeping own spaces tidy

Helping in the home 
Fixing own breakfast
Setting tables with cutlery, mats, glasses and cold refreshing drink
Clearing away and washing up afterward
Tidying away in other spaces after you
Helping with vacuuming
Feeding pets

Sometimes it can be easy to drift into a pattern where other people may not expect you to do (or be able to do)  these things which doesn't help you either with trying be more responsible and independent and may in a low key nagging way begin to undermine a relationship.

It also is the case that within reason, people shouldn't try to do that too, even if you  as a little or middle have a disability or two regardless of like a  number of folk  you may not of had to do much if any of these things in past yourself.

Reminiscing of Christmas past

Although this picture is from the late ninteen-fifties, it does capture perfectly the very ideal of what a young girls Christmas was all about from the stack of presents by the tree I grew up with, the dress up costume which I always wanted and a a dolly you'd hug and carry around all day.

Freedom is being feminine you

The journey from what you see in the mirror and how you see yourself to being able to actually resemble in real time and space them has not been easy.

Like many if you I had more than my fair share of put downs from gatekeepers, close at hand to strangers who see themselves on a mission to prevent their world crumbling and of both sexs too I might add.

 

Having spent more than enough of my life imprisoned in drab male tops and trousers  this is so so true so what real business have I in persisting any anything other that which is feminine and girlie?

Now there are some things I love that really trailing soft fabrics wouldn't work too well like hiking so a good pair of well fitting shorts with a bit of air around the legs would make sense but really I feel so much better in a pretty skirt or dress.

In the beginning, you probably felt like that with all the social conditioning you went through but you soon began to realize you enjoyed it and actually you really were that girl, the one that kept popping into you head
 

You really wanted a Sis to do that to you didn't you?

 You'd of sooner have had Girl Time Tm with girl friends playing, making things, having fun and spending more time with mommy learning about home making, cooking and taking care of how you look.

But you CAN fix that.

After all you never really stop being a girl do you?