Age ranges and you

It was a dull wet Saturday morning that I started to get to grips with writing this blog as to be honest I've always been a slow starter apart from finding blank pages off putting.

Hovering about from various places a few thoughts mercifully free from much of the groan up drama this weekend came together and really it is about how much of you really fits in one slot or is it that we're a bit of a mixture.

Given I come from more of a age regression/age dysphoria direction one of the things you do tend to see is people saying things such as as "Can I only be one age", some people may have two or more ages which poses questions about how they blend.

In my head I visualize it rather like the relationship between these two illustrations although they've tried to make them individual, as one gets 'older' you do keep parts of the 'younger' as your thoughts become more sophisticated.

You may find the younger side wants to play with the older even so to me rigid ideas about your 'little' or IK age tend not to work.

Another way of looking at this thing is to ask what is it beyond calendar years is age really about, with me for instance I know I'm limited cos of my developmental disabilities so rather than necessarily getting 'older' as in being more mature in some ways it is more getting better through more practice and experience of being at that younger age.

It's a bit like polishing something up, it gets better but is basically the same.

For me hovering around 12, letting out the younger spread of my developmental age makes more sense although that does mean there's more oversight needed from either someone who is letting their older teen out or around as the groan up rather than just letting me sit in corner reading to enable me to do that safely.

That helps me to learn from my younger side those bits that remain badly impacted though practise knowing I won't be allowed to get the point I'm out of my depth and possibly in danger.

Cuter and cuter

Week was warmer than expected to be honest so I have been out rather a lot not least in trying to recover from this bug apart from watching my usual tv shows after dealing with a duff piece of electric equipment that needed sending back for refund and reading the odd comic or two.

When looking at such a mouthwateringly cute display one feels like having the whole darn lot and quickly working that out at current exchange rates they're not that expensive.

I had some more flowers and so I took a few pictures of them.

There's something about a Sunflower that goes beyond the stamen and petals and that's the hairy leaves on the stems which are well caught.

Now for a nap.

Thoughts from this girls bed

 Lying very much in bed one can only dream of the adventures you'd of loved to had either in the past or to have in a restored past today with your temperature, achy body and a mind whose ideas are beyond what you can note down for future use.

There are some people who tend to say you can only have such an experience only with things of your own era in it and I would agree a lot needs to but when you think about it in going round the sun 12 times indefinitely might we not grasp some newer things as in effect our ability to be 12 is polished?

If you can add things like using the internet to what this means today, then surely to play games or watch tv shows that are for people of your 'mindset's age' can be in their as much as a the odd change in attire.

It's hardly a period reproduction worthy of a BBC drama series we are looking at just a space for you to be that eternal child of your age with much from it in there.

Wishes: A Reflection

We week just gone has been rather all over the place with the weather although the weekend just gone has been fairly warm and I wasn't too good for a few days.

It's a time that had led me back to those amazing unstructured discussions we had in twos and threes as children where we felt free to say thing that perhaps we might not in our usual fuller social groups where we let out more of ourselves and our most intimate thoughts to those we felt closest to.

One thing I would of wished for was to of known more of my former boss  when I was younger who died  a few days ago that had the most amazing and yet practical takes on being disabled tackling low expectations, learning to project more from that space, being supportive without telling you how to run your life  and being involved across many areas of life such as helping out able bodied running groups.

Another would of been for people to just felt free in our social circle as kids to of been more themselves less likely to felt ridiculed without having to adopt any specific and often narrow sense of identity because it seems to me that for wanting more inclusion that individual variation gets lost in a zillion tight definitions.

Some people fit into very narrow pigeon holes but often others just don't so rather than just hundreds that you have to adopt and for good measure are seen as mutually exclusive sometimes just better to accept people as they are - individuals.

Another more personal one would of been to felt up to talking to people I never met before because of my at times crippling social anxiety and for them to had know how they could of helped with it.

That was really it, in a world where it seemed most were in groups that may of made you feel stronger for being together it just seemed the bits that made everyone unique including those things we struggle with got over shadowed.