A chance meeting

Today I'm off for the day so I'm preparing this entry so it can published while I'm out so I'm going to have to be super careful to proof-read it beforehand.
Earlier in the week something happened that had been talked about before with  attempts to arrange it  made only to be dashed at the last minute.
In the long long history of my being a little once I even founded out what that was, I had never  encountered others face to face and indeed it had taken a lot of time to find others online joining sites to even have any kind of virtual encounter. I'd met with a number of 'mainstream' Ts people face to face in cafés making arrangements via PM's on site but that had been it.
Well, following talk at a couple of sites plus emails, it happened our First former was going to be at the Head Girls at GHS and asked in chat about meeting up, something that I had been thinking off but following a severe four day migraine that had left my mental functioning seriously  impaired,  I wasn't able to think much (it also caught me by surprise)  but said I'd give it some thought later on when I might be better.

 Following some emailing, we decided this would be a workable meeting up point being easy to find and leads on toward the local canal and recreational amenity area as it wasn't far for me to go plus was the kind of place I'd feel more at ease talking in. It also was a place in area the First former hadn't been before.
Having gone for a short stroll we found a relatively secluded place where we could talk about our histories of being littles,what we got out of it, general life experiences which for me includes work background, experience of being disabled as well as being Ts. It didn't take long for either of them to spot my obvious North American accent and quirky pronunciation aided by Canadian rising although most of you are kinda used to my Can-E written English.
The Head Girl talked about the four letters in the name lg meet ups within the UK, explaining what people do, the structure, locations as as other social events that happen with illustrations inquiring  if it would interest me. We also touched on the differences between the UK events and those held in the States. 
Although much of this year is planned out with me, being away for a period where I can be little in the company of others  does appeal because I like being around others in addition to playing especially as it was explained you could do whatever you felt was right for you being based around your 'age' or interests even if it may be that I'd be looking at stopping over with someone part way there because of the time it would take to travel and how tired that can leave me (being really tired travelling across London isn't a good idea) so it's on next years to-do list as for that matter would be paying a social call or two to the Head Girls as I could get a train to the nearest rail station to GHS which is just at the far end of the County due south of me and there are times when overnight stay, something not a million miles from a sleepover is more what I'm needing not least with the issues with and between my family. I just need to be away from that stuff.
It seems to me more possibilities for just being myself are opening up since encountering everyone at GT and IK some two and half years ago.
So as in real time as you read this I'll be playing somewhere - see the next blog edition for more - I'll conclude by thanking the First former and Head Girl for coming on over to see me as it was a great pleasure to actually see and be with them.

Teenbeat VI - The Carpenters

I can count! Really the sixth numbered issue of Teenbeat is here and is being written up as it was the sound track of part of my childhood being forever on the radio and pops record as well as clunky car tape player.
Few artists managed to craft well performed pop with infectious melodies as Karen and Richard Carpenter did whose music continues to sell well after 1983's sad death of Karen both original studio albums and good many compilations covering such memorable hits as (they long to be ) Close To You, Goodbye To Love, Only Yesterday, Sing (written for Sesame Street) and Touch Me when We're Dancing. I have the Singles 1969-1973 and 1974-1978, that latter title NOT issued in the states being familar with from from Pop's record collection.

I did recently get this three disc Dutch set, "Collected"originally entitled The Ultimate Collection and issued briefly a few years back by Universal Records in Europe.
The first thing to be said it's really a 2.4 cd set as the third disc has just seven solo Karen and Richard tracks coming in a card wrap round sleeve with short booklet.
However what you do get is 34 Carpenters songs but all in their original lp versions rather than remixes done for the 1969-73 Singles Collection never mind Richard's many remixes from the mid 80's onward and for the most part the tracks are in chronological order. 
Trying to track down the original mixes can be difficult and most of the new compilations don't feature them so to hear these songs the way we did back then from the lps is a lovely nostalgia trip. The sound quality is also very good borrowing the tracks from the "Original remastered" series of cds from 1998.
My copy from Nagirly on Amazon UK only cost £GBP 10.87 plus shipping which isn't much for such a super complete set of hits from 1969 thru 1983. Recommended.

The needs of littles

I'll begin this entry by first of all thanking the current 18 followers of my Tumblr which isn't a replacement for my blog just a place where random posts that wouldn't of necessarily fitted in here go and a place where between us there's an exchange of ideas and points of view around being a little or perhaps more accurately for me , a middle where we're not bashing each other.
As one unfortunate side of  being me is I have migraines frequently, this is being typed in advance as I sense one come on and I'll polish it after being out of commission for a few days.
That takes me to the start of this piece which is that many littles, me included, need a sense of routine around our lives in order to feel secure emotionally being neither lost in world that might appear to be quite random or worrying be that the worry of not knowing what'll happen next or the worry of strange situations and people.
Actually most people do have set routines that they feel the need to complete usually around say eating routines such as getting up and having a round of toast and coffee not thanking you for changing it, but can deal with re-ordering events reasonably well which if you've ever been stuck in an airline terminal for hours you'll understand. It's just rather more intense for a good number of us. The world is out of control and we can't stand it! For me such things as colouring, school work, playing and so on all help to keep me calm.
Routine does almost invariable lead us into structure and while it's generally agreed most folks need some structure -changing the day structure around as people who work night shifts do creates issues - generally speaking for most adults they can create their own structures, for a number of us we're lost without one being in place, knowing such things as who is doing what, what are we exactly to do and who is in charge that for some of us is critical because we respond better for being in situations where effectively we're told we're now going to do this now rather than being relied upon to somehow read the unspoken signs.
It's hardly surprising therefore that for a number of us we miss greatly the structure of school to the point whereby we may role play it and that's indicative of  a need I feel.
Positive reinforcement comes in to as I suspect for a whole host of reasons: a number of  us have issues around self esteem, feeling less than confident in our abilities needing that  encouragement, that we're fine, what we're doing is okay turning out fine and as people we're good. Fortunately I get a lot of that in the workplace that helps when I'm battling with insecurities and can see if I was in relationship I'd need 'grooming' taking you back to that "That's a good girl stage".
To me these are among some of needs we have and are critical to be meet for our well-being  for me personally coming to terms with them has been a great help rather than just denying their existence.

Disability

This post is for sweetiemissmimi, luna and those of us from different communities with disabilities.  
One of my favourite maxims is "everyone is different" and one way in which we are different is in our life circumstances.
It is unfortunate that there seems to be an increase in the prejudice subjected to people who have disabilities from many directions apart from the still lingering outmoded attitudes toward having disabilities in general.
Those of us who have physical disabilities may get around in a number of ways and may even be multimodual: we may 'walk' but slowly, holding onto objects, use walking aids such as crutches and walking frames or wheelchairs to get about.

The critical thing is our aids give us the means of getting around - usually by ourselves - we aren't confined or limited by them even if those who are not still persist in needlessly creating less accessible environments  .
The nature of some disabilities is that conditions do fluctuate so we may alternate modes which isn't a reason to start tut tutting or accusing us of being fakes just because we don't meet your idea of what being disabled is. After all not having the life what would a good number of you really know?
People who exhibit ME for instance may not look that they have a physical disability but ME is physically disabling making it very tiring to get about.
Because we have disabilities also  means we may need to adapt what we wear to avoid  for instance getting things stuck in the spokes of your wheels, so spare us your "You ain't doing it right", "You can't be a lolita" or more offensively "You can't be pretty, you're just a cripple" crap. Fashion has always had a practical side adapting to needs and shock horror disabled models for the fashion industry does exist showing their genuine beauty off.
Some of us work (employed or voluntary), some of us are studying up to and including degree levels, some may not be able to do either and all of us are trying to get on making the most of our lives living it in way more conductive to our needs.
Some of us have varying learning disabilities or what are broadly called  mental health needs and generally we'll let you know if it is we need you to step in or remind us about any medication we're on.
Talking specifically about me, my own take on it is I never ask to have my disabilities with the many limitations they do place on me but given they have, my alg lifestyle is more suited to me as I can cope much better when I'm in a more child like headspace as I struggle with much else.

Photo credit "myasianfashion.it"

Saturday in the park

Stardate August 3rd 2013

Susie woke up this morning, yawning as she washed and got dressed ready for breakfast at 8AM for today was Saturday, a day when school was closed but nonetheless home tuition was on offer for she and her friend struggled with French in Form 1EB of St Mary's, a high school for girls in Nuneaton, in the English Midlands. Aunt Joan insisted upon it and as Joanne's parents, struggling to meet the Term Fees also were rather concerned with Jo's grades had kindly accepted Joan's offer to pay, at weekends she was to stay the night there.

This naturally meant Joanne was subject to Auntie Joan's very strict rules, far stricter than her own parents ever would be although secretly she longed for some clear boundaries. Like Susie she had to put on her full school uniform for Miss Winters, the French tutor, making sure everything was properly fastened and that her shoes were spotless.

After three hours of verbs, completion of sentences and reading aloud where Susie was warned that persistent giggling would be reported if she didn't stop that very minute, they tucked into Fish Fingers, peas and chips followed by Chocolate Moose being accompanied by Auntie.
Joanne asked if they go out for the afternoon to the park as it was a bright sunny day. "Yes certainly" said Auntie Joan "but you really must be back for Afternoon Tea" she added before going on to say "On no account are either of you to get involved with rough boys otherwise you'll have me to answer too".

They both got changed out of their uniforms for summery dresses with short white ankle socks and flat heeled shoes and took a couple of books out with them to read resting their backs against the bark of the trees whose foliage provided much needed shade that day.

Walking back at a quarter to four they were just on the path leading to The Lodge where Joanne saw Ice Cream van and started jumping up and down saying "Go on, let's have an Ice Cream each" but then realized she'd left her purse behind, not that there was much in it. Susie turned around and said "Look, I have some money on me  and I can always earn a bit more on my paper round to make it up". With that Susie bought Joanne and her a 99 each with two chocolate flakes and strawberry juice which thay ate skipping back to Auntie Joan's just in time for Cucumber sandwiches, scones and tea.