Monday, March 20, 2017
Thoughts from my desk
I think the first thing is last weekend's written work showed I am capable of doing something I have agreed to to a very good standard, being prepared to work with my conditions and the emotions that build up in me.
Another thing showed how not respecting how certain of my conditions are creates a situation where I feel very much out of things, unable to use those same abilities in what was on the face of it a less demanding task.
I have as some of you know from being with me severe problems with short-term memory, concentration and find noises very distressing and I was in the process of writing a Thank You card to a relative where I have people dashing all around me looking for things, shouting to each other without making it plain who it is they are speaking to, then trying to ask for information that isn't relevant at that point.
I can't hear myself think, I am struggling to remember what the sentence is even I'm trying to write, having to cross out one word as I got muddled up and what I did write wasn't what I wanted to convey even. I felt embarrassed to hand it over to the person who was going out to mail it even.
This was so unneeded and that kind of thing when I'm out at the check outs in stores paying for things and so on just gets to a point I just 'freeze over' and 'shut down'.
On the other hand where on Friday I found a micro sd card that contained sixty odd music albums that gone awl, where I the past I'd of been getting super anxious and stroppy I just calmly checked my back ups for the artists I had recordings by on the card, identified them and got on with the job of ordering a replacement to put them all back on again maybe taking advantage of its bigger capacity to combine it with another.
In that way I'm getting at handling my conditions and how they affect me but you do to a greater extent than a good many others need to bear them in mind even if that other example is one that perhaps isn't fair to expect anyone to work around never mid someone like me.