If This Is It [Pre-blog}

I've just returned from summer vacation in a static caravan visiting the railways, not my idea mind but Dads and Mommy and I reckon he drives us all mad with them as we prefer to see buildings and visit the shops. I listened to some albums such as Billy Idol's Rebel Yell, Sports by Huey Lewis and the Footloose soundtrack and visited a lovely record shop.
Officially it's been 14 months since I've left school but I really don't feel I've left it emotionally or psychologically at all.
I still have the folders containing rapidly written by hand notes with diagrams and some of the books we used for our last two years subjects  stored in an old chest.

One by product of having siblings is you get to see their friends as they visit and as one happens to be a school girl I can't help but noticing how she dresses. This is my take on her uniform without blazer or cardigan, it being pretty much what I wanted to be put in in my senior years.

Pink reminders [Pre-blog]

Today I found in the closet, a hand knitted cardigan with beige buttons on it from a few years back when Gran periodically measured me  and knitted new cardigans and sweaters as it was very rare outside of school wear for me to have new bought ones.
I remember it well as it was the same pattern and wool as my cousins who was a girl and I so much wanted the same one as she did and for once it actually happened.

That was the kind of wool she used.
I'm wearing it and I don't really know if it's because it's from my childhood or it was and is because it was really intended for the girl I was meant to be while blasting out Bruce Springsteen's new album, Born In The USA, his first for two years .

I take the dice [Pre-blog]

Yes It's actually arrived boxed from the catalogue company, my very own Boom Box made by Pioneer although this one has less boom than most I have to say reproducing my cassette of Seven and The Ragged Tiger, the current Duran Duran album well.

It has a  AM/FM stereo radio unit, fully functional tape recorder that handles most tapes including the more recent Metal Oxide ones and Dolby noise reduction. As well it uses two speakers - one being a tweeter for the high notes - for each channel, a pair of RCA in and outs for use with home systems and a headphone jack.
One of  best friends at school had one a bit like this last year before we all left in the Summer and I really liked it. I wonder how they're all getting on?

Christmas thoughts [Pre-blog]

We're approaching Christmas which usually brings together present buying, memories of past Christmas's and social gatherings that for me involves being with relatives at parties.
The thing I really loath about these times is not being able to dress in accordance with how I feel that either for me bypasses gender identify issues as I know some girls don't enjoy being forced into very girlie clothing too.

Personally I feel you should be able to wear what you feel most comfortable in and at a similar age to these two boys I too would of loved to had been able to wear a skirt to our parties.

Fall reflections [Pre-blog]

A few months have gone by since we all left and I'm feeling lost, something not helped by the careers service not really being helpful when it comes to advising me as I've not much idea at all about what I can do never mind what sorts of know how either employers or colleges expect.

I saw the movie Flashdance several times whose story I can identify with and adore the soundtrack album with it's mixture of dance and rock tracks (see picture above) and love the new 45 Big Apple by Kajagoogoo with it's video, skating to it.
I keep looking at my closet, seeing my school uniform and thinking to myself I want to go back to school. It's where I felt I belonged.

Leaving [Pre-blog]

Here go following our examinations toward our leaving this school and on account of the economy very few of us have jobs lined up and some are going to college instead and hopefully, we'll get jobs later. My folks always talk of how they were able to start a job in a day after inquiring but it seems to me this is a distant dream.
It's at moments like this you think about what in these years I've learnt and I think one the first things to say is I've learned to stand up for fair play, having a strong passion for looking out for other peoples welfare.
Although I have a lot of problems arising from my disabilities, I've managed to get a decent formal education when some professionals thought I couldn't achieve much, getting so far respectable grades in my subjects.
When I started this school I had a lot of problems most stemming from what I understand to be my overwhelming sense of being a girl trapped in a boys body with it's own identity and although it hasn't been easy, the more liberal approach to gender divisions here have helped me fit in better and the girls, from the Head Girl herself have done a lot to improve my self confidence, supporting me.
I'll miss here.

Is there something I should know? [Pre-blog]

It's time I'm really meant to be revising for our test papers before the exams proper in a couple of months time which will be taken in the  sports hall but going to find my well worn dictionary in the draw lead me to finding some of the stuff I had back before I started this school and that's a  good while now. Actually I'm sat here now and I'm thinking more like I did when I was nine or ten which seems odd but I never felt older.
It's like I'm in two worlds where for instance a man from the Bank came to talk to us about banking and the role of building societies but  no disrespects to him, I actually want to play instead. In other news the delightfully attractive Duran Duran have issued a new 45 in England called Is There Something I Should Know with a video which has cme out on a video tape (too bad we don't own a recorder yet) and it has the most powerful production yet by the group.