Christmas thoughts [Pre-blog]

We're approaching Christmas which usually brings together present buying, memories of past Christmas's and social gatherings that for me involves being with relatives at parties.
The thing I really loath about these times is not being able to dress in accordance with how I feel that either for me bypasses gender identify issues as I know some girls don't enjoy being forced into very girlie clothing too.

Personally I feel you should be able to wear what you feel most comfortable in and at a similar age to these two boys I too would of loved to had been able to wear a skirt to our parties.

Fall reflections [Pre-blog]

A few months have gone by since we all left and I'm feeling lost, something not helped by the careers service not really being helpful when it comes to advising me as I've not much idea at all about what I can do never mind what sorts of know how either employers or colleges expect.

I saw the movie Flashdance several times whose story I can identify with and adore the soundtrack album with it's mixture of dance and rock tracks (see picture above) and love the new 45 Big Apple by Kajagoogoo with it's video, skating to it.
I keep looking at my closet, seeing my school uniform and thinking to myself I want to go back to school. It's where I felt I belonged.

Leaving [Pre-blog]

Here go following our examinations toward our leaving this school and on account of the economy very few of us have jobs lined up and some are going to college instead and hopefully, we'll get jobs later. My folks always talk of how they were able to start a job in a day after inquiring but it seems to me this is a distant dream.
It's at moments like this you think about what in these years I've learnt and I think one the first things to say is I've learned to stand up for fair play, having a strong passion for looking out for other peoples welfare.
Although I have a lot of problems arising from my disabilities, I've managed to get a decent formal education when some professionals thought I couldn't achieve much, getting so far respectable grades in my subjects.
When I started this school I had a lot of problems most stemming from what I understand to be my overwhelming sense of being a girl trapped in a boys body with it's own identity and although it hasn't been easy, the more liberal approach to gender divisions here have helped me fit in better and the girls, from the Head Girl herself have done a lot to improve my self confidence, supporting me.
I'll miss here.

Is there something I should know? [Pre-blog]

It's time I'm really meant to be revising for our test papers before the exams proper in a couple of months time which will be taken in the  sports hall but going to find my well worn dictionary in the draw lead me to finding some of the stuff I had back before I started this school and that's a  good while now. Actually I'm sat here now and I'm thinking more like I did when I was nine or ten which seems odd but I never felt older.
It's like I'm in two worlds where for instance a man from the Bank came to talk to us about banking and the role of building societies but  no disrespects to him, I actually want to play instead. In other news the delightfully attractive Duran Duran have issued a new 45 in England called Is There Something I Should Know with a video which has cme out on a video tape (too bad we don't own a recorder yet) and it has the most powerful production yet by the group.

Too shy? [Pre-blog]

It's February  in my last year at school and our new pin up group from England, Kajagoogoo first 45, Too Shy has hit the UK #1 spot this week.
They are give a special including the front cover slot in this weeks Smash Hits magazine a teen colour pop publication from England we read.
There are however other things very much on my mind right now such as gender identity as for a long long time I've always wanted to dress as a girl because I've always seen me  as a female.

 

I'd loved to have worn such cute dresses like the one on the right but for a long period lived in fear of harsh cutting words not from just boys but also other girls although I've been very lucky to have sympathetic girls at high school. Will I find others like that when I leave in July?

Mirror man [Pre-blog]

Coming on back this lunchtime across our big sports field where we play our games, I hear that in England the group the Human League new 45, their first all new 45 since the end of 1981's Don't You Want Me although that was a chart hit in the States earlier this year, Mirror Man has hit the #2 spot.

Many of my friends this term like the English New Wave bands like them such as Japan a lot having their records played in the form room at recess. Although I've liked mostly rock from the 60's onward, their music is so fresh. It seems we're in golden age with new music every week right now.
I'm wearing my hair longish now just like these artists.

Today I am myself [Pre-blog]

I had a great time in recess today as the girls dressed me up as one of them for a period. I liked how I looked a lot.

I came out to them and they are so accepting of it.
In other news our fascination with Duran Duran continues as we sing Hungry Like The Wolf in unison and all of promise to by the upcoming album Rio and I get a A- for an Economics essay, a model of brevity.