Friday, December 26, 1980

Beach Boys [Pre-blog]

Christmas has been and gone this year but one thing I had was this special 6 lp box set entitled "The Capitol Years" to replace a couple of compilation albums by the popular American group, the Beach Boys that I wasn't too happy with.
I grew up with taped albums of theirs plus when I was younger I had a couple of compilations bought for me which I played on a home made stereo phonograph. Today I have a second hand stereo separates set to enjoy my music on.

For one thing the selection is quite generous with 104 tracks covering hits, a number of hard to find single versions and their b sides plus prime slices from the studio lps covering the years 1962 through 1970 when they were signed to Capitol Records, arranged into 6 themes with each lp jacket making a jigsaw like picture.


It was issued in November by World Records  a part of the EMI organization, and came with a bonus lp of productions that their singer and group leader, Brian Wilson produced for others such as the girl group The Honeys and the first Glen Campbell 45 which are otherwise hard to find today.
Although a number of tracks appear in fake stereo, perhaps because they couldn't find the mono originals, most of tracks are in either true stereo or mono which makes a pleasant change as this spoilt the 20 Golden Greats compilation I bought  four years ago and the singles versions of Be True To Your School and Help Me Rhonda are featured which spoilt 1974's Endless Summer double compilation.

Monday, December 8, 1980

What if.... [Pre-blog]

I often think about how I would feel if I were to present as a girl as I'm tired on days like today when we're going out to places and I want to be me.

You see this feeling has been with me from my earliest days from the minute I realized people were treating me different from the group of children  I felt I belonged with because they said I was a boy even though the way I think and physically I aren't the same as them.
To me when I was seven, all of that and the betweeness to me wasn't a reason  not to wear not even "to be put into" even a dress cos psychologically speaking that is appropriate for my gender and my life is more determined by that anything physically.
This was the dress I so wanted my parents to put me in so I could blend in my my girl peers
exploring some relevant things around gender  presentation such as how it might feel to be seen as a girl when they've never seen you as such, how you show female presence in your new gender and so on.
Internally I am so done with  "don't be silly, you're a boy".

Monday, September 8, 1980

The LB years [Pre-blog]

The story of my life as explained in the main blog is complicated through being raised as a boy as much as I didn't personally see myself as one although it also is true to say for what I now understand as regression did originally start out in my teens based on boy schoolwear.

For example unlike most of my peers I stayed in formal short trousers well past the age of 11 and was even wearing them by choice at home when I was 16 because I associated them with being safe and the fun I had when I was younger.In short, I wanted to be little before I know what it was.
It also showed in wearing grey boys school socks in preference to mens (grr) over any kind of trousers.
This would continue until I started to move over to more female based mode even if some parts of my outward presentation were more boyish. In some respects at least I could be seen as being more tomboyish rather like "George" in the Famous Five stories who really was a girl.
Of course what I'd of rather of had was everything in school and for my childhood like the child on the left here:
Even if I was dressed more like the one on the right.
Across the 80's this changed as I found more around the topic of gender, cross-dressing  and transsexualism from the media and also from reading around it in libraries to the point I wrote of as you did back then to Post Office addresses  for fact sheets with contact details.
Postcript:  What started out as LB moved to LG where it remains today

Thursday, March 6, 1980

A slight matter of correction [Pre-blog]

Recently Mommy asked me what I wanted to happen to me if I was being naughty. I think what's brought this to a head is she doesn't know what to do with me anymore, as some kids my age get 'grounded' but where we live it's miles from anywhere so it's not that I actually go anywhere much without family and they don't feel they can leave me by myself. I don't have much of an allowance that can be withheld without them paying for things I need.

I informed her I'd be happy to continue being spanked and I really can't be doing with long arguments preferring everything over and done with.
We have a chair in my room where it happens.
And although it hurts I'm happy with  being spanked in my teens.

Friday, January 18, 1980

Snow damage [Pre-blog]

Today would of been like normal school day and although I'm in my mid teens I love to dash around the playground playing, rather than hanging out with just a few friends trying desperately to look cool in a line. You could say nothings really changed since I was 12 or perhaps even younger - I'm still just a little kid in lots of ways - but anyway I dashed out to toss snowballs at my friends and dashed back in to avoid the retaliatory volleys  when -slam! - I fall hiding in the stock room where the snow melted from my shoes and I slid by the radiators. 
I know, I was rather silly not to have at least dislodged the snow off my shoes when I can through the door leading to the school corridor -and there were mats for that- but I just don't think at times.
I'm lying there, crying, with my right arm in so much pain I can't easily describe it, It just feels like a lead weight and I can't support it so my friends go with me to the nurse who has me sent to the hospital.
I'm told I've fractured it badly and it has to be strapped up for eight weeks or so which will be fun as we're meant to be taking our mock exams soon. Oh brother!